Your Daily Muslim

“Dude, this is some sick weed, brah.”

Egyptian cleric Alla (not to be confused with Allah) Said is paranoid and suffers from extreme hallucinations involving global conspiracies masterminded by Jews. This psychosis has also led him to blame Jews for everything, including numerous first-world nations, the existence of gays, and World War II.

“Who is the terrorist? It is the Jews who have spread terrorism throughout the world. By Allah, I am not exaggerating… America was deceived big time. America was corrupted by the Jews, you should be aware of this. The minds of America have been mutilated by the minds of the Jews. The corruption that spreads throughout the world is steered by the Jews.” Corruption? Said clearly has no idea what he is talking about. Tell that to the sharia court judges who let men get away with rape because their wives can’t produce four devout male witnesses to prove it was rape. Tell that to the Islamist politicians who instate the jizya tax upon the heads of non-Muslims. Tell that to everyone who has helped cover up an honor killing. Now, Said, tell me again about corruption.

“The bestial tendencies and the lust that are evident in the age of ‘progress,’ ‘enlightenment,’ and ‘development’… It got to the point where they spread abominations with animals. Who did this, publicized it, supported it, and was behind it? It was Freud the Jew. Homosexuality – may God forgive me – who spread it? It was Jean-Paul [Sartre] the Jew. Who spread atheism in the world? It was Karl Marx, who was also a Jew.” Freud, Sartre, and Marx were all noted atheists. Sartre, whom Said claims spread homosexuality, was married to fellow existentialist philosopher Simone de Beauvoir – who did, in fact, have a vagina. Said’s desperate attempt to pin the things Islam does not like, such as the ideas of atheism and LGBT rights, on major historical figures basically falls flat on its face when scrutinized (just like the Qur’an!)

“The Jews corrupted France. They corrupted the French minds with pornographic films.” The only reason those minds were watching porn in the first place is because they wanted to… so nothing Jews did “corrupted” anyone. And there’s nothing wrong with watching porn; and honestly it takes a madman to criticize porn when sex slavery is still practiced in Islamic countries under sharia law.

“Islam will be instated, the Shari’a will be implemented, whether you or whoever is behind you likes it or not. Whether the Christians like it or not, they will learn the meaning of Islam… You dare say that Islam coerces and harms people?!” Yep, just like Barack Hussein Obama said, “Islam has a proud history of tolerance.” Tolerance of itself and nothing else, perhaps. In Islamist-controlled Egypt, freedom of religion is rapidly eroding thanks to clerics like Said.

“In [the Jews'] book, the Talmud, they said that God created a giant whale… [God] began to think what he would do if this whale paired with a female whale, and they gave birth to huge whales, which might cause disorder on Earth. So God descended to play with the male whale to keep [the male whale's] mind off this female whale.” …I’m curious, is Said talking about a fat chick that looks like a dude, or an actual whale? Regardless, if God did get it on with a fat chick once, that’s nothing compared to divine manwhore Allah, who takes his pleasure every time his followers bend over for him.