Tag Archive | United Kingdom

Your Daily Muslim: Jamaal Uddin

Your Daily Muslim: Jamaal Uddin

Fat ginger kids are often bullied at school. Few deserve it. UK Muslim Jamaal Uddin, real name Jordan Horner, is one of those few. After being turned down by even the girls on the short bus, Uddin realized his life needed to change. Realizing he would never find a woman to love him, he found […]

Your Daily Muslim: Abdul Muhid

Your Daily Muslim: Abdul Muhid

“[Muslim Patrol] is not going to stop. There are many teams out there. God almighty said the best Muslim is one that goes out and commands what is good and forbids what is evil.” In early 2013, some wild Quranimals in the UK grabbed a video camera and harassed people on the street for not […]

Your Daily Muslim: Rema Beauty Begum

Your Daily Muslim: Rema Beauty Begum

Rema Beauty Begum was a 29-year-old Muslim woman from the UK. After a job interview, Begum called her mother and had a glass of wine. Everything seemed fine, but then she jumped 80 feet to her death. Why did Beauty decide to become Splattered Beauty? Islam. Though she lived alone and had become Westernized, her […]

Your Daily Muslim: Shamim Akhtar

Your Daily Muslim: Shamim Akhtar

Shamim Akhtar is an overbearing Islamic mother and grandmother from the UK who somewhat resembles an ogre. A 59-year-old mother to eight children, Akhtar insisted upon arranging a marriage for her daughter, Naila Afsar. The man Akhtar chose for Naila was none other than Naila’s own cousin. After a very brief period in which the […]

Your Daily Muslim: Shamrez Rashid

Your Daily Muslim: Shamrez Rashid

UK Muslim Shamrez (not to be confused with Shamwow) Rashid is the latest in a long line of Muslims who fail to understand the concept of gender equality. Being kinda pudgy, Rashid wasn’t having much luck with women. So, he and a few of his Muslim friends decided to pick up (read: kidnap) two teenage […]

Your Daily Muslim: Anjem Choudary

Your Daily Muslim: Anjem Choudary

Anjem Choudary was a normal guy when he was younger. He smoked, he drank, and lived a rather typical lifestyle for a citizen of the UK despite his Islamic faith. However, that faith soon turned his lifestyle upside down – Choudary went from being a regular dude to a rabid hate preacher. Basically, Choudary goes […]

Your Daily Muslim: Sara Ege

Your Daily Muslim: Sara Ege

During the few moments of her day she wasn’t being beaten (Qur. 4:34), Sara Ege was teaching her 7-year-old son Yaseen how to recite verses from the Qur’an. However, Yaseen was allergic to bullshit and thus his body was unable to process the ancient literature. Sara killed Yaseen for his inability to memorize and recite […]

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