Abu Taubah, aka Marcus Robertson

As is common for Islamic converts, Marcus Robertson changed his name to Abu Taubah. That’s where his crazy story begins.

Taubah was an imam at a Florida mosque. Like so many other Muslims, he was involved in all sorts of jihad and miscellaneous violence, including funding terrorists, arranging and carrying out assassinations, and planning an attack on overseas US servicemen. Despite his attempts to please Allah, Allah never rid him of his lazy eye.

Taubah was close to the Blind Sheikh Omar Abdel Rahman (mastermind of the 1993 WTC attack), and even served as his bodyguard. Hopefully they used a condom.

When the US government figured out what Taubah was up to, the scheme they uncovered revealed itself to be even more grandiose: people were bringing weapons into his Florida mosque in preparation for jihad. At the mosque, Taubah didn’t just talk Qur’an (which is violent enough as is), but also talked about waging violent jihad against the US military. Now, he has the gall to accuse the US penal system of discriminating against him due to his religion. Maybe if his religion were less primitive, he wouldn’t be in prison in the first place.