Despite being the size of ~3.8 women, German Elfi Yaghi still managed to find a way to serve her crazy god Allah after her stint as a sumo wrestler came to an end. 538-lb. Yaghi has popped fourteen children out of her cavernous uterus. Since she is Muslim, it is impossible to discern whether the majority of her weight consists of fat or explosives. Due to her diabetes and a metabolic disorder, many of her children have come out being super-sized like their mother.
Yaghi named her fourteenth child, a boy born of record weight in Germany, “Jihad.” Baby Jihad drew the attention of media, and Yaghi remained silent on her choice of name. Naming children “Jihad”… damn, Muslims are getting bold! I wonder how many of Yaghi’s brood I’ll end up writing about in years to come when they engage in typical Islamic activities like honor killings and suicide bombing. Muslim kids these days… they sure blow up fast.