Portly Islamic cleric Yahya Safi showing how fat he wants to get

Yahya Safi is the Sheik of the Lakemba Mosque in Australia and is likely a relative of the Grinch. Seeing a holiday now centered around mass consumerism was more popular than all of his religion’s holidays combined, Safi ordered a fatwa against Christmas. Perhaps his religion’s holidays would be more popular if they didn’t involve cutting one’s head open and not eating.

Safi’s fatwa declared that it was a sin for Muslims to wish Christian a merry Christmas or to partake in any sort of Christmas celebration. Allowing his paranoia to shine through, Safi stated that “disbelievers” were trying to pull Muslims “away from the straight path.” Actually, Muslims are drawing other Muslims away from the straight path… what sort of Muslim woman would want to be straight when the men are as hideous as Safi?

Safi claimed that everyone who “does not become a disbeliever himself, he at least commits a sin, as this is the same as congratulating him for his belief in the trinity, which is a greater sin and much more disliked by Almighty Allah than congratulating him for drinking alcohol or killing a soul or committing fornication or adultery.” So, under Islamic morality, murder is more acceptable than Christmas. That unsurprisingly makes sense considering the religion’s track record.

Anyway, Merry Christmas or whatever else you celebrate!