Mali Islamist Aliou Mahamar Toure probably had a really bad handjob experience or two based on his hatred of hands. A sharia-police commissioner of an Islamist-controlled area, he enforces the sharia upon anyone caught doing anything remotely enjoyable. The punishment: death, or the removal of limbs.
Toure said in an interview: “We don’t have to answer to anyone over the application of sharia. This is the form of Islam practiced for thousands of years.” Actually, I’m pretty sure you have to answer to the civilized world… oh wait, this barbarism is going on in Mali, a west African nation in shambles that ~99% of people can’t locate on a map. Hence, Toure and his militia, Mujao, have been able to get away with all sorts of violence. His group has banned smoking, drinking, watching sports, and music. It has been reported that having a non-Islamic ringtone in the region is punishable by public flogging. The only fun Islam allows is target shooting – except the targets are always live.
Women in regions of Mali like Gao, the area controlled by Toure’s group, are sold to men to be married. Men then sell and trade their wives once they’re tired of raping and beating them. Though that behavior is seen as completely acceptable, in August, a man and woman were executed by Toure’s group for allegedly having an affair. Toure commented on the slayings, “They were stoned to death, the punishment for infidelity, according to sharia.” In Gao, sharia courts have been set up and have replaced the previous justice system.
Toure’s cruelty doesn’t stop there. Suspecting his brother, Moctar, of stealing, Toure enlisted the help of some of his Islamist BFFs. They tied Moctar to a chair and blindfolded him. Toure then severed his brother’s hand without hesitation. When interviewed about the cruel act, he commented: “We had no choice but to practice the justice of God.” I can understand sibling rivalry, but that’s taking it WAY too far. Sorry, Toure, but your dick’s always gonna be smaller than your brother’s. Removing his limbs isn’t gonna fix your impotence problem. Anyway, there were 14 reported amputations perpetrated by Mujao in 2012.
To that, I say: God’s justice, meet Miami justice.