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Your Daily Muslim: Abdul Mohsin al-Abaican

His picnic blanket brings all the girls to the yard

His tablecloth brings all the girls to the yard

Today’s post is about tits. Now that I’ve caught the straight male and lesbian readers’ attention, let’s begin. Saudi Sheikh Abdul Mohsin al-Abaican came into the spotlight with a most peculiar fatwa: grown men can drink women’s breast milk. Why? So they can legally spend time alone together. Apparently in Islam, a man drinking a woman’s breast milk causes the two to become related. Unrelated men and women are not allowed to spend time alone in private together in Saudi Arabia because they might have sex, and that’s like the worst thing ever – they’ll get pregnant, get AIDS, and die.

al-Abaican said that the man should squeeze the milk into a cup instead of drinking directly from the breast. The general reaction, even in the Islamic world, was:

Another sheikh, Abu Ishaq al-Huwayni, said that drinking directly from the breast is fine. His ruling likely stems from the fact that doing so is a huge turn-on for him. Yet another sheikh, Bassam al-Shatti, said that breast-suckling during foreplay is acceptable but agreed with al-Abaican that men should not deliberately suck a woman’s breast for milk in another context.

al-Abaican is an advisor to Saudi royalty. To gain prominence in politics, normally there’s a ton of ass-kissing involved. Perhaps this crazy fatwa came about when al-Abaican grew tired of kissing ass and instead wanted to squeeze tits.

4 comments on “Your Daily Muslim: Abdul Mohsin al-Abaican

  1. I couldn’t do anything else but LAUGH. Is this erally what they teach their flock?!!!!!

  2. These cavemen are all about lust toward women and it is OK for the sheep who follow them. But a woman is worse than a prostitute if she dares to even attempt to marry outside an arrangement.

    This is why aliens will never talk to us…

  3. […] Huh? What would that do? I know Islam has weird rules about it, but I’m a grown man… maybe it’s one of those weird camel-piss-esque […]

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