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Your Daily Muslim: Mustafa Muslim

Mustafa Muslim, well over halfway to being fossilized

Mustafa Muslim, well over halfway to being fossilized

Mustafa Muslim is a seventh-century savage who somehow got a PhD, likely in the subject of Hitler-worship. Anyway, Muslim is a professor at al-Shariqa University (black female readers, don’t let that name inspire the name of your next child) in the United Arab Emirates. He’s also super old and probably has to clutch his colostomy bag during the entirety of his lectures.

“[Jews] have spread all over the world. Now Allah gathers them in this land… Judgment Day will come when the Muslims fight the Jews, and the stone and the tree say: ‘Oh Muslim, oh servant of Allah, there’s a Jew behind me, come and kill him.’ (cited from Sahih Muslim, 41:6985)” Talking rocks and trees… damn, Muslim, that is some serious shit you must be smoking. Also, Judgment Day already happened. It was the sequel to Terminator and wasn’t quite as good as the first.

“The war between us and the Jews is a religious war. This is not a war over a path, a land or anything like that. The part of the Qur’an that was given at Mecca, before the Muslims even met the Jews, each chapter reveals who the Jews really are, their perversity and the danger they present.” Now, Muslim, let’s talk about perversity a bit. Muslim countries lead the world in porn searches. Muslim countries lead the world in child marriages. Yeah, those Jews are so perverse… now, let’s talk about danger a bit. Jews don’t blow themselves up for their deity. Jews don’t cut off people’s hands for theft. Jews don’t flog women for not dressing like ninjas. Jews don’t threaten people with widespread violence if they don’t submit. Muslim, you really are an uneducated twat if you can’t figure out that your religion is the primitive, uncivilized one.

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