Mohammad Puad Zarkashi thanks Allah for fast food and trans fats

Everyone knows that gay men have great fashion sense and dress better than you. Malaysia’s Deputy Minister of Education Mohammad Puad Zarkashi is jealous of gays’ innate ability to put together an outfit, and wants their wardrobe witchcraft to be vanquished. Zarkashi and his fellow government ministers made a list of various items of clothing he considers to be indicators of homosexuality.

So, what’s on this list? Assless chaps? Jockstraps? Booty shorts? Nope: V-neck sweaters, sleeveless t-shirts, and lightly-colored tight-fitting clothing are believed to be signs that a person is gay. Specifically, those with fit bodies who wear tight clothing were targeted in the announcement. Well, duh: the gym is gay church, and the praying is done in the locker room. Here are some images of who is and who isn’t gay, per Zarkashi’s assessment:

Gay:

Not gay:

The Malaysian government and the Teachers’ Foundation of Malaysia backed the highly scientific study. Zarkashi stated that early “symptoms” of homosexuality were widely unknown, and thus there is little information on how to stop it from spreading. Apparently Zarkashi views homosexuality as an “unhealthy activity,” like it’s a contagious disease. If he has kids, I hope they’re all gay, and I hope they have the sense and courage to leave Islam and live in the west as free people.