Fashion ranges from the mundane to the hideously bizarre. In terms of swimwear, the “burkini” designed by UK Muslim Kausar Sacranie most definitely falls under “hideously bizarre.” Basically, a burkini is a full-body wetsuit that leaves only the feet, hands, and face exposed. Unlike regular wetsuits, however, it’s loose-fitting, so fatasses can attempt to hide their girth when wearing one, though honestly it does a piss-poor job of concealing the blubber. Basically, a burkini is a loose-fitting hooded shirt and pants made out of lycra and nylon. Swimming in one seems as though it would be awkward at best due to the garment’s baggy nature.
Sacranie, the CEO of Modestly Active, was interviewed about why she designed the burkini. She explained, “as my children were growing up, my girls especially, I didn’t want them to compromise with their faith and this is why I said that, you know, I still want them to participate in what they enjoy, which is swimming… that’s it, I’m gonna sit down, and I’m gonna design something for them, and they won’t need to compromise.” Basically, she’s saying that going to the beach in non-Islamic clothing equates to compromising one’s faith. That’s an absolutely absurd notion to anyone with half a brain. She also stated that the prophet Muhammad (pigs be upon him)’s wife Aisha was her main inspiration for starting Modestly Active.
Here’s a fatass trying (and failing) to hide her girth in a burkini:
Sacranie’s real reason for designing the burkini was, however, far more personal. She had struggled with self-image issues at beaches for years because of this, and thought the baggy burkini was the remedy: she has no tits. Looking at pictures and a video of her, she appears to be in the target market for the wonderbra. I also highly doubt her ass is particularly stellar either. So, when she goes to the beach, instead of being looked at as the woman with no chest, she’s now looked at as the potentially-explosive thing in blue.
“I wanted something different but I didn’t want to look like a Teletubby on the beach.” Well, you don’t look like a Teletubby, Kausar. You look like a Nazgul. Speaking of the Nazgul, here are a bunch in burkinis (which look like ninja costumes when wet) going down a waterslide: