His face looks like he underwent more failed plastic surgery operations than Joan Rivers

Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdullah ibn Muhammad ibn Abdul-Latif Aal ash-Shaykh has a name longer than that of everyone in the average extended family, and he’s absolutely insane to boot. As Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, he has issued numerous fatwas (Islamic edicts) on subjects from the destruction of churches to Pokemon. He’s missing an eye, but his beliefs are far worse than his vision.

In 2012, ash-Shaykh called for the demolition of all churches in the Arabian peninsula. He does not believe coexistence between religions is possible and wants to preserve Islamic cohesion and identity in Saudi Arabia. A former sharia law instructor at Saudi Arabia’s Muhammad ibn Saud Islamic University, ash-Shaykh is very familiar with all the tenets and principles of Islamic law, and his rulings have been cited as correct by numerous other leading Islamic scholars.

As a response to the global Muslim rioting conveniently blamed on the scapegoat Innocence of Muslims, ash-Shaykh called upon world leaders to criminalize insults against religions – in other words, shut down free speech so Muslims’ feelings don’t get hurt. What a hyper-sensitive lot of crybabies. If your religion can’t stand up to criticism of its violent teachings, maybe you should pick a new religion.

Now here’s the really ridiculous fatwa: Pokemon are evil and should be outlawed. Cute little Pikachu cried electric tears when the fatwa was announced. Some Islamic scholars, including ash-Shaykh, claimed that the Japanese anime-based card game and video game series are a Jewish conspiracy. “Most of the cards figure six-pointed stars, a symbol of international Zionism and the state of Israel.” ash-Shaykh also warned Muslim parents: “Beware of this game… to protect [your children’s] religion and manners.”

Hey, ash-Shaykh, did you know there are two Muslim Pokemon? Yeah, they’re called Voltorb and Electrode – their only real ability is to blow themselves up.