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Your Daily Muslim: Abu Khalid Abdul-Latif

Afros are supposed to go on top of a person's head, not on their chin...

Afros are supposed to go on top of a person’s head, not on their chin…

Abu Khalid Abdul-Latif, born Joseph Anthony Davis, is a Washington Muslim who wanted to get his jihad on. Suffering from extreme hallucinations, including some involving a man in the sky named Allah and a pedophile named Muhammad, Abdul-Latifah began seeking out ways to please his imaginary friends. He decided to plan a jihad attack against a US military recruiting station. Hmm, where have we heard of attacks on recruiting stations before?

Burdened by financial troubles to the point of filing for bankruptcy (thanks Obama), Abdul-Latif knew this would be the time he carried out the will of the crazy voices in his head. With money that he didn’t actually have, he began to shop for guns and grenades. His plan was to die as a shahid (martyr) in the attack and be rewarded with an everlasting hallucination of 72 vaginas.

Earlier in his life, Abdul-Latif had tried to kill himself. His new hallucination-friends only gave him more incentive to do so, assuming he took others with him. He converted to Islam 9 years ago, and adopted its teachings strictly. He even posted ads online saying that he was looking for a second wife, despite the practice not being legal in the United States. On his dating profile, he called the US the “most oppressive place on Earth.” …tell that to any woman or gay person living in Iran or Afghanistan.

Abdul-Latif had stated that his toddler son would be proud if his father died fighting “nonbelievers.” Actually, I think the child would be more upset and traumatized by the loss of his father at such a young age. However, Islam doesn’t seem to really take that into consideration.

Abdul-Latif was arrested by government agents after a tip on his machine gun purchase. Upon his arrest, evidence that he had been surveilling his target was found, further proving that the threat was real and imminent. He has been sentenced to 18 years behind bars.

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