Most of the Muslims I feature on here are hideous, unkempt visual trainwrecks. However, that’s not the case with today’s, Emirati actor/model/poet Omar Borkan al Gala, who now lives in Canada. Recently, on a vacation to Saudi Arabia, al Gala and two other men were detained and ordered to leave the country because they were deemed “too handsome” by the Saudi Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice. The Committee consists of fatter, uglier men than al Gala. They were jealous that the resident ninjas and Nazgul in Saudi Arabia, which are as close to women as are allowed in that nation, would choose to be with someone hot instead of with the extremely slim pickings Saudi Arabia has to offer. Thus, al Gala was expelled.
Why would anyone ever vacation in a hellhole like Saudi Arabia? Seriously, alcohol is seen as haram (forbidden), premarital sex is punishable by lashing, and there’s hardly any chance to get laid there anyway. That considered, the Committee probably did al Gala a favor by prematurely terminating his likely shitty vacation.
After being featured on Perez Hilton’s site following his deportation fiasco, al Gala gained a huge internet following that mainly consists of horny gay men drooling over their keyboards and partially-braindead teenage blondes. What his fans don’t know, however, is that he has a little secret I’m about to drop… oops! And no, it has nothing to do with the numerous “Allahu Akbar”s he posts in Arabic on his social media sites.
I began browsing through al Gala’s modeling photos trying to find an ideal one to be featured in the piece and noticed an uncanny trend – the top of his head was never shown. He was wearing traditional Islamic tablecloth headdresses in many of the photos, but after an extensive period of digging, I found an older photo which revealed the truth: al Gala has no hair. Like many Muslims who wear weird shit on their heads, al Gala’s hair began to fall out at an early age, and now he just doesn’t have any. Don’t get me wrong, bald is in right now and al Gala can certainly pull it off, but seriously, folks – if you don’t want your hair (or brain) to fall out, don’t wear a tablecloth on your head.