Despite having spent countless hours perfecting the “duckface” as seen above, Muhammad Salah has yet to be able to pass for a teenage girl.

“The prophet considered women wearing tight, revealing clothes as [being] naked… how good is it to cover the hair while the entire body is exposed?”

Like tons of other Islamic clerics, sheikh Muhammad Salah is in dire need of getting laid. However, like tons of other Islamic clerics, he’s hideous and has a beard that looks like it came straight out of a rest stop shower drain, thus precluding him from ever getting any. This has caused Salah to become a desperate, horny pervert, and every new kink he discovers leads to a new fatwa.

Salah is a bit of a misogynist. Aside from the earlier quote, which was part of a speech he gave stating that wearing jeans is haram (forbidden) in Islam, Salah also says that women must put their families first, before their career or personal aspirations. In addition to that heap of sexist crap, he stated that women must only take certain kinds of jobs, like being a nurse or teacher. Salah’s mind is an obvious anachronism, a relic of the 19th century (or before.)

“When you enter such a place [as a bathroom], you must seek refuge with Allah again as to outcast Satan.” Salah believes in Jinns, evil spirits that feast on human feces that supposedly possess people while they’re taking a shit. Honestly, I feel like Satan has a lot better things to do than send his invisible minions crawling up people’s buttholes while they’re pooping. Watch this speech

Salah claims that houses which have posters and paintings, which are cited by many Muslim scholars as being haram, invite Jinns. He says that Allah will not enter such a residence, and that black magic and sorcery thrive there. He also says that playing music will bring Jinns into a household, and compares such a house to a nightclub. Note to all infidels: throw more house parties.

In another speech, Salah explains that, starting at age 4, children can become sexually desirable. Specifically, he cautioned parents about their children becoming sexually attractive at the age of six or seven: “Kids at the age of six and seven, they start to grow mature and they understand, and a girl will look pretty and she will be desired. In this case, she will be treated as a girl who reached the puberty age…” Pedophilia is f**ked up already, but incest pedophilia? That’s prophet Muhammad-level perversion.