It seems that more and more of them come out of the woodwork every week. This time, terrorist Fazliddin Kurbanov was captured in bumf**k nowhere, also known as Idaho. Originally from Uzbekistan, also bumf**k nowhere, Kurbanov had moved to the US for better economic opportunities.
The problem was what Kurbanov did with his money. A devout Muslim, he felt obliged to donate a lot of his hard-earned cash to worthy Islamic causes. Are we talking homeless shelters or food drives? Nope, we’re talking covert payments to the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan, a terrorist group with the lone goal of establishing Islamic sharia law as the law of the land in Uzbekistan.
Authorities intercepted communications from Kurbanov to the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan in which he gave them instructions on how to make bombs. Apparently they don’t have the internet in Uzbekistan or something since all that kind of shit is on Google. Kurbanov was arrested and is facing charges. Hopefully the Islamic Movement doesn’t succeed in their attempts to blow up what little civilization there is in Uzbekistan.