That Mumford & Sons song is going through her head right now: “I really f**ked it up this time…”

When you see someone walking around wearing a curtain, you have to assume they’re drunk and going to a Halloween party thinking they’re dressed as a ghost. The sight of Somali Muslim Amina Farah Ali should definitely evoke such a reaction. Blessed with unfortunate stature and a more unfortunate visage by her ever-merciful god Allah, Ali decided her purpose in life was to (wait for it) fight against infidels! However, she had immigrated to Minnesota, so she had to get creative with her jihad.

Ali got in touch with an elderly Muslim woman, Hawo Mohamed Hassan, who also liked to walk around wearing drapery. Considering how sympathetic people are to the elderly, Ali used Hassan’s age to gain sympathy points with those she targeted… in her door-to-door fundraising. However, she wasn’t raising money for Hassan’s care, cancer research, or even a sex change operation. She collected donations claiming the money would be for helping the poor, and funneled the money to al Qaeda-linked al-Shabaab militants in her native Somalia. I guess Ali wasn’t entirely lying – Somalia is among the poorest countries in the world.

The type of lying Ali practiced, lying by omission, is known as the Islamic principle of kitman. Kitman is often used by Muslims to get away with crimes or to save face when accused.

Authorities became suspicious of Ali and her fundraising efforts across the border in Canada. They obtained a warrant and searched her property. Her phones were also wiretapped. Shortly after her property was searched, Ali called one of her al-Shabaab friends and said: “I was questioned by the enemy here… they took all my stuff and are investigating it… do not accept calls from anyone.” That is how Islamists view us – “the enemy.” That’s definitely a peaceful sentiment right there, a sign that a religion is capable of coexisting in a diverse society.

In court, Ali refused to stand, claiming she stood “only for Allah.” The trial proceeded, but she was ordered to be held in custody for her disorderly behavior for the duration of the trial. She also said “Allah is my attorney,” with the assistance of a translator.

Allah is such an awesome defense lawyer that Ali and Hassan were both convicted. Ali will be spending 20 years behind bars while Hassan got a lighter sentence.