That bruise on his head comes from the headbanging ritual Muslims perform five times a day to ensure utter retardation.

In 2012, Egyptian Islamist politician Zakaria Younis Abdel-Halim Makhyoun was elected to political office in the People’s Assembly of Egypt. One of the first things he did while in office was attempt to ban all online porn from Egypt.

It’s quite possible that Makhyoun is a eunuch and thus has no need for internet porn, but seriously, what kind of dude does that to his fellow man?! Not cool. Needless to say, his Islamist beliefs played a large role in his ban attempt, since Islam forbids anything remotely enjoyable unless someone else is being harmed in the process – porn is haram (forbidden), but Muslims are allowed to take sex slaves from conquered territories under Islamic law. That pretty much sums up Islamic morality right there.

Later in 2012, during the drafting of Egypt’s new constitution, Makhyoun said that Islamic sharia law must be part of the constitution regardless of the outcome of the popular vote. “I told the secular parties, ‘If you are looking for a secular constitution, you shall look for people other than the Egyptian people to draft this [secular] constitution for, because Egyptian people love Islamic sharia.'” Egyptian people love Islamic sharia? Really? Tell that to the Coptic Christians who are persecuted, often violently, and are systematically being stripped of their rights. Tell that to female activists who have been beaten and publicly raped in Tahrir Square. Tell that to any political dissidents, many of whom were captured by security forces and never heard from again. Not everyone in Egypt is a wild Quranimal like Makhyoun, and their secular voices need to be heard.

In 2013, Makhyoun came out as a pedophile – err, I mean, came out in support of child marriage. He claims that girls as young as nine should be allowed to be married off by their parents to keep with the tradition of Muhammad, pigs be upon him. Makhyoun also pushed for legislation that would intervene in women’s affairs if they weren’t conforming to traditional gender roles – the law said the state would ensure each woman would “reconcile between her duties toward the family and her work in society.” Makhyoun was also invovled in the creation of a bill that would preserve gender equality… as long as it didn’t conflict with sharia law. In other words, the bill would more or less throw women’s rights out the window. He also called for strict punishments against journalists who published stories opposing or exposing the government.

Makhyoun describes Egypt as being “a crossroads before the rule of Islam or the rule of blasphemous provisions.” We can only hope that blasphemy wins out and the Muslim Brotherhood-led government is toppled.