Heba Kotb

This post contains adult thematic material. Reader discretion is advised.

Dr. Heba Kotb is the first certified “sexologist” in Egypt. In other words, sex is her job. However, whether or not “sexologist” is a euphemism for “prostitute” is unknown. Anyway, one notable fact about Kotb is that she is a deluded, brainwashed idiot. While writing her med school thesis about STD transmission, she realized she didn’t know anything about sex. Hey, terrorists – she’s one of the 72 virgins you’ll be getting when you go boom.

Where did Kotb look to learn about sex? The Qur’an, of course, not medical textbooks, despite the fact that she was in med school. Considering where she turned for medical knowledge, she’d likely prescribe camel urine as medicine as Muhammad, pigs be upon him did. (Sahih Bukhari 8:82:794) Upon reading the Qur’an, she claimed “I was so proud of my religion when I saw that. My religion was advanced enough to talk about women’s rights in sexuality how many years before modern science did?” Uhh, your religion authorizes men to take the women of conquered territories as sex slaves and forces women to please their husbands or get hit. (Qur. 4:34) Now tell me again that your religion championed women’s rights.

Kotb now hosts a show called “The Talk” on which she answers questions about sexuality. However, she says she is unwilling to answer any viewers’ questions about forms of sex that are forbidden in Islam – in other words, all the fun kinds. She claims the Qur’an commands men to provide pleasure to their wives, when it’s really the other way around. If Islamic teachings really had the woman’s pleasure in mind, then female genital mutilation wouldn’t be prescribed by so many leading Islamic clerics and scholars.

Despite her career as a sexologist, Kotb still hasn’t learned much about certain forms of sexuality, namely the homo variety. She claims that homosexuality is a “disorder… an acquired thing” and has compared gays to alcoholics and drug users. I mean, I guess gay dudes do get “injected” much like drug users, but that’s definitely a stretch. Heh. Stretch. To quote Lucille Bluth, “I made a pun!”

Kotb discourages women from masturbating, since women are supposed to remain completely chaste before marriage. In many Islamic countries, females masturbating before marriage isn’t an issue considering that so many girls get married before they hit puberty, like the marriage of Aisha to Muhammad, pigs be upon him. Kotb claims “a woman has to remain blank until she gets married and by masturbating she’s forming her sexuality.” I hope some lesbian out there masturbates watching Kotb’s show and sends her a video of it.