Mohammed Hasnath

Mohammed Hasnath couldn’t contain it any longer. His inner homosexual just had to let loose and come out (pun intended.) However, as a Muslim, he felt deep guilt over his orientation, and thus couldn’t go march in a pride parade without feeling compelled by Allah to blow it up. So what did Hasnath do to unleash his inner gay? He did some creative fashion design and decorating for the London borough of Tower Hamlets.

Being the self-loathing closet case he is, Hasnath couldn’t help but allow his negative opinion of himself to be reflected in his art. He posted numerous stickers around Tower Hamlets, saying that the area was a “gay-free zone” and “verily Allah is severe in punishment.” Hasnath probably wishes it were the kind of punishment that involves a leather-clad muscular man with a paddle, but unfortunately for him that’s not the kind the Qur’an was talking about.

Aside from putting stickers up, Hasnath and one of his fellow closet-case Muslims decided to vandalize an advertisement. This advertisement had a special significance to them – it was of an uncovered woman, and their Muslim friends made fun of them because they were the only ones who didn’t get it up when looking at the lady. So what did our aspiring decorator and his friend do do? They drew a burqa on the woman, more to hide their shame than to hide her skin.

Hasnath was caught posting the stickers around Tower Hamlets and was fined £100. He was also caught after CCTV footage was analyzed for the burqa incident – for that, he was ordered to pay £283.