Hossein Dehnavi

“Women have to provide sex to their men anywhere and at any time.”

Iranian Islamic cleric Hossein Dehnavi probably isn’t going to get any for the rest of his life. To be honest, it’s quite possible he’s still a virgin – no woman with even a milligram of self-respect would touch him. Dehnavi has decreed that women must sexually please their husbands on command, and has condemned and criticized all sorts of liberated, independent women.

“One of the calamities of our society is that some women do not give authority to their husbands and this is more evident in three groups. The first group are those who are older than their husbands and treat their spouses like a mother would, which harms the authority of men.” So Dehnavi isn’t into cougars. OK, that’s reasonable, to each his own. However, some men (mainly Muslims) honestly need a woman to take care of them in a semi-motherly capacity due to their perennial laziness and ineptitude.

“The second group [of women] are those who have a higher education than their husbands and because of their financial independence [they] have some attitude, which harms men’s authority.” Uhh, someone’s level of education should be the measure of authority, not their level of testosterone. Preventing women who deserve positions of power and influence from achieving their potential is truly oppressive. Then again, we’re talking about Islam here, so oppressing women is par for the course.

On the third group of women Dehnavi attacked, he stated: “One of the other duties of women in regard to their men is to take care of their men’s instinctive needs [their dicks.] Do not break their pride and [you must] be more sensitive toward them.” Don’t break their pride – if they’re a sexist douchebag like Dehnavi, break their nose and their nuts. Women shouldn’t feel obliged to sexually serve their husbands. That’s absolutely unfair. However, Islam doesn’t see it that way. Many of the religion’s leading scholars claim there is no such thing as marital rape. Qur. 2:223 is cited as their justification for this assertion – “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear God…”

Dehnavi also said boys and girls must not hang out alone or in isolated areas. This is similar to other clerics’ rulings that Satan will be present when a man and a woman are alone together and encourage extramarital sex. Basically, sex is miserable for Muslims, especially Muslimahs, many of whom have undergone genital mutilation (clitoridectomy.) Dehnavi said that Muslimahs must not seek their own pleasure after getting their husbands off. Seriously?! Girls just wanna have fun… let them have fun! What’s the big deal if the woman gets to enjoy herself a bit? Oh wait, it’s Islam, which is all about male domination and control of women.

“[The west’s] social classification is women, offspring, dog[s], and then men.” I’m a man, and I have no problem with “men” like Dehnavi being on the bottom of the pecking order. I have no idea what Dehnavi’s problem is with women – considering how ugly he is, it’s highly unlikely it was due to a breakup, so perhaps he has mommy issues? Regardless, Dehnavi is truly dumb… and dumbfounding.

Here’s the most ridiculous Dehnavi quote yet: if a man does like Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” and fantasizes about another woman while impregnating his wife, “the child will be a homosexual.” I thought homosexuality was caused by Satan anally fingering newborns? However, on the subject of “poker facing” during sex, he stated: “This is the kindness of God to us Muslims that thinking about sin is not a sin [and when] some men, in having sex with their wives, talk about other woman, this is not a sin either.” Uhh, if a man talked about another woman while inside a woman, hopefully that woman would leave the dude with blue balls. Doing that during sex is probably the biggest dick move ever – literally.

I’ll conclude this post with part of a speech this misogynistic creep gave. Ladies, don’t hate all men because of rabid Muslims like Dehnavi. We don’t all think like this: “Many people say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but it appears that they have made the mistake of going ten centimeters too high. No! A man’s heart is somewhere else, my esteemed sisters. Satisfy his sexual needs and you will win his heart and he will show you love and he will say, ‘I love you, woman.'”