Lay off the Big Macs, porky…

Atlanta Muslim Sahara Tabriz Fakhir (pronounced “f**ker”) is out of her mind – and soon to be out of her jumpsuit if her waistline keeps expanding at its current rate. The colossal hambeast, who weighs in at over 400 pounds, was arrested for murdering an elderly man in his home. How the victim was unable to escape from the murderous lumbering monstrosity is unknown.

Fakhir had her first major run-in with the law in 2009. She was on probation after being convicted of making terroristic threats, then she showed her true colors, those of the violent religion of Islam – she threatened to cut the throat of her probation officer. That landed her a five-year sentence, of which she served 130 days behind bars. During the trial, she tried to fire her state-appointed attorney for “religious differences” before entering a guilty plea.

Maybe it was the prison food. Maybe it was the judgment-free access to girl-on-girl action. Who knows. Apparently her four-month stint behind bars was appealing enough that she decided that was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

Fakhir stabbed a 66-year-old businessman repeatedly in his home and left him to die. She’s a devout Muslim, and apparently felt that such a violent act was acceptable in her faith. Hmm, I wonder why… perhaps it has something to do with the dozens of commands for Muslims to kill non-Muslims in the Qur’an? Fakhir was arrested on a murder charge, and caused quite a stir at her hearing. The insanity began when she stated “Allah is my lawyer.” Since Allah doesn’t exist, she’s saying she has no attorney, and would thus be representing herself. Of course she thinks that Allah would defend a murderer like her in court – Islam often calls for the slaughter of non-Muslims. And that’s exactly what Fakhir did right after invoking Allah: “If you do not release me, Allah will have vengeance on you.” I’m sure everyone in that courthouse was truly petrified of her imaginary friend.

The judge informed her she would not be able to get out on bond, probably after witnessing her crazy behavior and recognizing she was a danger to society. “If you don’t release me. I mean what I said. I better be released from that Masonic Courthouse in the name of Allah… If they disbelieve, they better not proceed.” Wait, since when are courthouses Masonic? Someone get this bitch a tinfoil hat ASAP!

Fakhir then noticed the presence of reporters from a local TV station. Of course, this prompted yet another insane conspiracy theory-laden outburst. “Fox 5, really? Let the Illuminati, reptilian news media in here, really? …They are a member of the disbelieving public. All you Freemasons and Illuminati members in the courthouse, you all are going to burn.” I’m guessing she also believes in chemtrails and that Jews perpetrated 9/11. I’m surprised that “you all are going to burn” wasn’t taken as a terrorist threat – Fakhir is a Muslim, after all. Hopefully she gets locked away for good in a room with padded walls and no contact with other life.