Fatima Hussain

As her name would suggest, UK-residing Pakistani Muslim Fatima Hussain was dieting like a fatass. She went to McDonald’s one day for some waistline expansion, and shortly after taking several bites out of a gross “chicken” sandwich (she claims she ordered a veggie burger), realized something horrible had befallen her. You’d think she’d recognize they got her order wrong after the first bite… right?

Though she does not wear the traditional Islamic ninja costume, Hussain is a devout Muslim and recognized that the meat did not have suffering and cruelty, the secret ingredients of Islamic halal slaughter. Halal animal slaughter involves slicing the animal’s throat without euthanasia, generally while a wild Quranimal reads verses from the Qur’an. Realizing such unclean meat had graced her maw, Hussain immediately complained, and managed to get herself a full refund.

However, free food wasn’t enough for this demanding Muslimah. She demanded a formal apology from McDonald’s, which did not give her one – it is quite possible she had, in fact, ordered a chicken sandwich, or they recognized that she was trying to pull the Muslim card to get free food. She did eat half the sandwich, after all. “I regularly eat at McDonald’s and have a good relationship with them. I’ve even had a job interview there. But I want to warn other members of the Muslim community that this has happened.” Note job interview, not job. Apparently the folks at McDonald’s had enough sense not to hire the Muslimah, knowing she would bring nothing but trouble. Or maybe she has absolutely no skills, though she just finished up a Master’s degree at Northumbria University.

Hussain’s attempt to warn others in the Muslim community may fall on deaf ears, or it may lead to jihad against food which is not halal. The outcome of her ordeal, aside from her whining and being publicly mocked on sites like this, remains to be seen. However, I get the feeling many UK Muslims won’t be bothered and will continue stuffing their porky faces.