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Your Daily Muslim: Lassana Diarra

Even when they're about to fall on their ass, Muslims still do the trademark Islamic finger-point

Even when they’re about to fall on their ass, Muslims still do the trademark Islamic finger-point

Professional soccer player Lassana Diarrhea, commonly known as “Lass,” has been kicked around between teams more than the average soccer ball. He claims he perpetually feels underappreciated, but perhaps it’s because his bizarre Islamic practices cause his teammates to avoid him. Or perhaps it’s because he overrates his own abilities. Either way, let’s take a look at some of this Malian Muslim’s strange behavior.

Despite being a professional athlete and needing to maintain top physical shape, Diarrhea fasts during the month of Ramadan. Fasting is unhealthy for someone with a fast metabolism and high caloric demands, and infrequent food intake may result in muscle loss and delayed recovery. However, Diarrhea is a devout Muslim and places his imaginary friend’s satisfaction before his personal and professional well-being.

One night, while out with his former team Real Madrid, wine was being served to all the players. As soon as the server moved to put wine in front of Diarrhea, he erupted (pun intended), refusing to allow the glass of wine to be placed in front of him because Islam forbids drinking. Other team members looked at him funny and probably questioned whether or not the austere Muslim was even prepared for life in the 21st century.

Diarrhea was shipped off to Russia and now plays for Lokomotiv Moscow.

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