The corpse of Muhammad bin Mubarak

You know you’ve found a good father for your children when he’s willing to abandon your family to go wage jihad. Qatari Muslim Muhammad bin Moob-arak was totally not an absent, deadbeat dad who left his family to go get holes blasted through himself in Syria. He was a strong father figure who led his family by example and gave his children a valuable life lesson by carrying out the will of Allah. With that pube-stache of his that looks as fake as the one Sacha Baron Cohen wore in The Dictator, his wife/wives really found a true catch.

Mubarak left Qatar to wage jihad in Syria against the regime of Syrian president Bashar al-Assad. Like many other idiots equally as high on religion, Mubarak didn’t even think about the consequences for his family – his children will have to grow up without a father, and what about the family’s financial situation? Who will provide for his wife/wives and brood? Apparently those practical, relevant concerns don’t matter in Islam – all that matters is dying a painful, bloody death while trying to kill innocent people.

Mubarak was killed in Syria by a bullet to the neck. His fellow jihadis have called him a “shahid” (martyr) and have asked Allah to grant him access to jannat al-firdaws (Islamic paradise), where he will be surrounded with virgins. However, he had quite the surprise in store – there were no virgins after all.