Obabiyi Aishah Ajibola

Oppression sucks. However, many Muslimahs embrace the culture/religion that prevents them from truly appreciating their bodies and enjoying numerous liberties. Nigerian Muslimah Obabiyi Aishah Ajibola loves being oppressed so much, she traveled halfway across the globe to Indonesia to compete in a competition of the least psychologically-liberated people on the planet.

The Muslimah World “beauty” (read: oppression) pageant was held in Jakarta, Indonesia. It was juxtaposed against the Miss World pageant, an event which drew ire from Indonesian Muslims because it involved a bikini contest. The bikini contest was cancelled this year due to threats from crazy Islamists, many of whom staged protests against the event. However, even without the bikini contest, Miss World was still seen as a “whore contest” by many Muslims, hence the creation of Muslimah World.

Ajibola probably raised the money for her trip by scamming unsuspecting westerners out of thousands of dollars over email, a common career path in Nigeria. The contest involved a “beauty” element that was probably judged based on the ornateness of the droopy drapery each contestant wore. The women were required to wear headbags because Islam doesn’t really have a good track record with giving women the freedoms they deserve. “We’re just trying to show the world that Islam is beautiful,” Ajibola stated. “We are free and the hijab is our pride.” If you were free, you wouldn’t be forced to wear the headbag all the time. As for Islam being beautiful – maybe if you’re a pedophile and are into the whole child marriage thing… but to any sane person who values human life and human rights, Islam is downright ugly.

Contestants were then asked to mindlessly recite verses from the Qur’an, in true Islamic fashion. Verse recitation was chosen over critical analysis and thinking, because those lead to apostasy from Islam. After the mindless babbling section came another mindless babbling test, where contestants were asked to provide their views on Islam in the world today. Unfortunately, I doubt many of them condemned the widespread jihad honor killings, female genital mutilation, etc. for fear of offending the judges, who consisted of high-ranking clerics and Islamic scholars.

After properly demonstrating her lack of critical reasoning abilities, the judges chose Ajibola as the winner. It’s quite possible that her middle name, which is similar to that of Muhammad (pigs be upon him)’s child bride, evoked certain urges in the judges, thus influencing her victory. She immediately broke down crying, before praying and reciting more Qur’an verses in an almost ritualistic fashion. She won $2,200 as well as trips to Mecca and India.