Why does the religion of peace have such a strange obsession with assault rifles?

Somali-based terror group al-Shabaab is cowardly. Instead of waging warfare in the open, they instead plot coordinated jihad strikes, lying in wait until the perfect moment to assault the kuffar (infidels). Sheikh Abdiasis Abu Musab is al-Shabaab’s military spokesman. And yes, he’s a sheikh, a learned holy man of Islam. However, he isn’t preaching the peace that liberals want you to believe Islam is about – he preaches jihad, and praises the slaughter of innocent kuffar.

In 2012, the Somali army (with the help of Kenyan forces) engaged al-Shabaab in the Battle of Kismayo. Musab was one of al-Shabaab’s military leaders in the battle, and shortly before the confrontation, he had announced that the terror group would be switching to more guerrilla tactics and less open confrontation. The Somali forces launched a surprise attack on the Islamist-controlled city of Kismayo, and encountered strangely little jihadi resistance. During the fight, Musab announced over the radio that al-Shabaab was winning, when they were really getting their asses handed to them. He even tried to tell citizens to evacuate into the army’s line of fire. However, the city was soon taken by the army and the remaining jihadis fled with their tails between their legs. Since it’s Somalia aka the shittiest country on the planet, looting began immediately due to the lack of local government present. A few jihadis crept back into the city and planted bombs over the next few days, but did not succeed in displacing the remaining troops.

“Early this morning the Somali mujahideen (jihadis) and infidels exchanged a battle…” Musab stated after a clash with Ethiopian forces in early 2013. “We’ve learned how to fight Ethiopians; we can also ruin their lines…” Ethiopian security and intervention forces have been clashing with al-Shabaab for the past few years in Somalia, where the rule of law is as existent as Allah (hint: Allah doesn’t exist.) al-Shabaab has been using land mines against Ethiopian security convoys and throwing grenades, creating a tense and dangerous atmosphere. However, Musab has since demanded another change of strategy.

After the deadly jihad attack on the Westgate Mall in Nairobi, Kenya, Musab made a press release. “The Kenyan Mujahideen who were trained by Osama in Afghanistan, stop throwing grenades at buses,” Musab commanded. “We need a huge blow against Kenya. Hand grenades hurled can harm them but we want huge blasts.” If you want huge blasts, go watch a Michael Bay movie, those are like 90 minutes of non-stop explosions. Perfect for Muslims, might I say. Musab also taunted the Kenyan government after president Uhuru Kenyatta firmly promised retribution against al-Shabaab: “Where will Uhuru Kenyatta get the power with which he threatened us? His forces are the weakest in Africa. We have been fighting Kenyan forces for two years… If Uhuru wants peace from us, he should withdraw his troops [security and humanitarian forces] from Somalia… Uhuru, threatening and bluffing are nothing, take your own AK-47 and meet us at the frontline.” Hopefully al-Shabaab is soundly defeated, and Kenyatta’s dream of a peaceful Kenya is realized.