Uhh…

Today’s post is kind of a WTF moment in several ways. It’s about a British Muslim convert who posed for some truly bizarre photos (see above) and had plotted a jihad attack against prince Harry. However, many months after his plot, he’s still not behind bars and getting media attention for the strange photograph found on his website.

In Islam, a woman’s legs are considered al-awra, or an intimate area. Muslimahs are told not to show their legs in public, hence why they wear the Islamic ninja costume. It’s quite likely the oh-so-devout Ashraf Islam, born Mark Townley, went to a Hooter’s (or the UK equivalent thereof) and told a couple of the staff he’d pay them if they took a few pictures wearing bedsheets with him. Islam only wishes he could get women with legs like that to be his wives (his not-sexist-at-all religion allows men to take up to four wives.) However, I doubt any woman would touch him with that hideous feces-colored growth on his chin.

After the jihad slaying of soldier Lee Rigby, Islam felt it was his turn to contribute to jihad. He disagreed with the “soft target” chosen by Rigby’s killers and felt a much more spectacular homicide was in order. His target? Prince Harry, in what he codenamed “Operation Regal.” Islam planned on stealing a gun from one of the prince’s bodyguards and using it to shoot him at close range. Islam claimed Harry had “blood on his hands” because of his military service in the middle east. However, he kinda cut his own plans short by walking into a police station and publicly announcing the details of his plot. He was taken into custody, but was released pending his trial.

Islam’s personal life is a trainwreck. He has used numerous aliases in the past, and always seems to have run-ins with law enforcement. He lost a lot of money or his family as Mark Townley, causing his wife and children to leave him. He then decided to make it so no other woman would ever love him by sprouting feces-colored pubes from his chin and converting to the world’s most sexist religion. Somehow, even after the financial losses he incurred with his family, he was able to move to Dublin and afford trips to Egypt, Malaysia, and Thailand. In Thailand, he spent the ten days prior to when he planned the shooting to research Harry’s bodyguards and their movement patterns. When he flew back to the UK, he realized he’d probably be a terrible assassin, and turned himself in.