Yahya Abdul-Aziz Jemus Junkung Jammeh showing off his new dildo

Yahya Abdul-Aziz Jemus Junkung Jammeh, president of the Gambia, is the intellectual equal of a lobotomized moose. Not only does he claim he found a magical herbal cure for HIV, he makes a bigger deal out of gays and lesbians than Glee does. However, unlike Glee, Jammeh’s attitude toward gays isn’t so positive. As we learned in part 1, he stated that “Homosexuals are not welcome in the Gambia. If we catch you, you will regret why you [were] born… Allowing homosexuality means allowing satanic rights. We will not allow gays here.” This is the small African nation’s president, mind you. Living under him as a non-straight person must be miserable. He stated that he hoped to punish gays and lesbians by beheading if they were caught.

At the United Nations General Assembly, Jammeh said that homosexuality was “one of the biggest threats to human existence.” I suggest he take a long, hard dick- err, I mean, take a long, hard look at his religion and its violent behavior across the globe. If anything’s a threat to human existence, it isn’t Anderson Cooper, it’s the promise of 72 virgins in the afterlife and the bloody means necessary to earn them. Instead of addressing more serious issues related to his nation like poverty and crime, Jammeh continued slamming the nefarious gays (but not in the butt, because Islam doesn’t let people enjoy themselves.)

“[Gays and lesbians are] more deadly than all natural disasters put together,” Jammeh said, not realizing his birth definitely qualifies as a natural disaster. As for being deadly, I again urge Jammeh to look at his fellow Muslims and tell me who’s more deadly: suicide bombers, or gym rats in speedos. Hopefully Jammeh is ousted from office and replaced by an openly gay person to lead the Gambia into a more tolerant age.