Hasan Küçük (probably pronounced “cock”), a Muslim of Turkish descent who was elected to the city council of the Hague, Netherlands, has a rabid (no pun intended) hatred of man’s best friend. Why? Because Muslims hate things that are cute and cuddly. Well, maybe that too, but mainly because the teachings of Islam state that dogs are considered ritually unclean (nejis) and that Muslims shouldn’t keep them as pets. What did this elected Muslim try to do? Make everyone in the Hague live under Islamic sharia regulations by pushing to ban dog ownership.
A proposal put forth before the city council to make the Hague more dog-friendly was met with immediate disgust by the devout Küçük, who felt the proposal offended his seventh-century Islamic sensibilities. Feeling pressured to provide an argument against the proposal aside from his medieval beliefs, Küçük thought up this brilliant line of reasoning on the fly. He claimed that keeping a dog inside most of the day was tantamount to “animal abuse” and thus dog ownership should be banned. Uhh, yeah, because dogs would totally rather be wandering the streets looking for scraps than be pampered and lay on someone’s lap while they watch TV. Recognizing that they needed to call Quranimal control on the rabid cur in their midst, the other council members vigorously fought against Küçük’s proposal, and shot it down.
Numerous Dutch political figures have stated that they believe Küçük’s attempt to criminalize dog ownership was an attempt to incite his fellow Muslims – who now make up 12% of the Hague, and growing – to rally for more sharia-based proposals. Hopefully the rest of the Netherlands is able to keep Islam at bay and hold on to their loving pets.