What the f**k is he wearing?! Seriously, as much as he hates gays, he is in DIRE need of their help!

“One Malaysia, one Ummah [Islamic spiritual community].”

Wherever Islam goes, human rights cease. Sadly, such is becoming the case in Malaysia, where bloggers are being prosecuted for posting an image of themselves eating pork and calling it “halal.” The Department of Islamic Development in Malaysia, also known as Jakim, is a government entity with a stated mission of spreading Islam (dawah), implementing pieces of sharia into Malaysia’s legal system, and building mosques. Does it seem strange to anyone else to hear about Muslims building something instead of blowing it up? Tuan Haji Othman bin Mustapha is the Director General of Jakim, and recently the organization released a bizarre sermon on the subject of human rights that included plenty of the delightfully spiteful things we’ve come to expect from Islam, with a touch of tinfoil-hat-ism.

Jakim’s weekly Friday sermon October 18, 2013 raised quite a few eyebrows because it seemed a bit more out-there than most of its previous releases. I mean, for one, who wants to get preached at on a Friday?! Friday is for escaping work several hours early, drinking, and f**king deep into the night. Bending over for Allah and getting talked at about a 7th-century fairytale on a Friday? Cue viral-video sensation Sweet Brown: Ain’t nobody got time for that! The sermon began innocuously, but got weird faster than old people at a rave. “As of recently, there is a concerted plan undertaken by certain quarters on the name of human rights,” the sermon stated. “It is undermining and challenging the principles of freedom allowed in Islam.” Wait, isn’t the concept of human rights based around guaranteeing freedoms for people? Basically, saying that Islamic principles of freedom are being undermined by human rights is saying that Islamic “freedoms” conflict with human rights. Checkmate, Islam.

The sermon claimed that “international leftist groups” were pushing the evil gay agenda to undermine the authority and influence of Islam. “Among the [so-called leftists’] demands are freedom of religion, recognition to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer person, questioning certain provisions in the Islamic family law that they claimed discriminate [against] Muslim women, discrimination against sharia followers and protest against the ban of publications that violates sharia laws.” Let’s see here: Islam teaches that the testimony of a woman is worth half that of a man, and that women must not go out in public without a family member. Don’t even mention the permission of wife-beating. I think that’s more than “claiming” sharia discriminates against women – that’s proving it. Also, what’s so bad about accepting gays? They’re awesome and invaluable to society, unlike psychological primitives who spend their days reading an ancient child-porn fairytale. As for discriminating against sharia followers – don’t even get me started. If time travel were real, we should send them all on a one-way trip back to the 7th century. Mustapha, or whoever wrote the sermon, should hang his head in shame.