Anus Allah-Trash is a typical Palestinian terrorist. However, instead of using conventional Palestinian methods such as throwing rocks or shooting rockets at Israelis, Allah-Trash decided it would be more fun to get stabby. He approached an Israeli checkpoint near Bethlehem which was guarded by numerous Israeli soldiers. Then it got bloody.
Allah-Trash pulled out a knife and started screaming (likely “Allahu Akbar”) and running at the soldiers, who told him to stop moving. The Muslim’s fanatical charge was undeterred by words, however, and the soldiers were forced to pump him full of lead. The Muslim died as yet another “martyr” for the bloodthirsty god Allah. However, much to his disappointment, there were no virgins waiting for him after his demise.
In the days before his “martyrdom operation,” Allah-Trash posted numerous messages on Facebook suggesting he planned on killing himself. “We belong to God, and to him we shall return,” Allah-Trash posted. “Certificates from secondary school and university, master’s, and doctorate… all will go down the drain on the first night in the tomb…” That’s a typical sentiment among Muslims, who basically treat this life as though it doesn’t matter in comparison to the hereafter. How morbid. Like, seriously, why not enjoy this life instead of feeling so bound to death all the time you choose to greet the end early? Some things I will never understand.
Upon hearing of his suicide attack, Allah-Trash’s friends all congratulated him on Facebook, asking for Allah to give him the highest level of paradise (jannat al-firdaus), claiming he was a “martyr.” Many of his friends even changed their profile pictures to images of the dead Allah-Trash. Just goes to show how warped Palestinians’ sense of morality is. Allah-Trash was a mad idiot who had nothing going for him in life, so he committed suicide by cop. There’s nothing glorious or justifiable about his actions.