Sayyed al-Shimi blowing (on) his glasses

If a person is gullible enough to believe a story as wildly fictitious as the Qur’an, it stands to reason that such a person would also fall for all sorts of other made-up nonsense. For example, astrology, the chosen mental pitfall of Egyptian Muslim Sayyed al-Shimi. Instead of writing a horoscope in a local newspaper or opening a booth in a mall like most crackpot astrologers do, al-Shimi instead took to the television to give his “expert” opinion on all matters of pseudoscience.

“Saturn will enter the fire sign of Sagittarius,” al-Shimi said during a televised interview that he undoubtedly now regrets. “My late father and I have had a long history with Saturn entering fire signs. As sheikh Daud al-Antaki wrote, when Saturn enters any of the fire signs, the Jews grow stronger. Don’t believe in this merely because I say so. It’s been tested.” So basically, because some crazy cleric who believes in invisible poop-eating spirits (Jinn) says something is true, that it must be? I mean, I knew Muslims were gullible, but this has to be a new low in that regard. “We discovered that Saturn entered the fire sign of Sagittarius when the first World Zionist Congress convened. The Balfour Declaration was released when Saturn was in the fire sign of Leo. The Haganah Brigades began organizing and helping the English in 1928, when Saturn was in the fire sign of Sagittarius. The 1948 war took place when Saturn was in the fire sign of Leo. The 1956 war took place when Saturn was in the fire sign of Sagittarius. The 1967 war took place when Saturn was in the fire sign of Aries.” Well, I have no idea what constitutes a “fire sign,” nor do I really care since it’s all a bunch of hogwash, but that seems like Saturn’s got a lot of fire signs. Maybe all those events occurred during fire signs because fire signs are quite common?

“The last time Saturn was in the fire sign of Leo occurred in 2006,” al-Shimi noted, “I started warning [Palestinians] in 2004: ‘Beware, when Saturn enters the sign of Leo, the Jews in Palestine will get stronger. Something leading to this will inevitably occur.’ What happened? The Palestinian Authority split into Fatah and Hamas.” Uhh, what “Jews in Palestine?” I’m guessing he means “Israelis in Israel.” If this fire sign business is true, it only shows one thing: even the universe doesn’t like Muslims.

al-Shimi concluded; “[Saturn] does enter water signs, but in December 2014, it will enter the fire sign of Sagittarius. Therefore, I hope that until December 2014, the Arab leaders must do whatever they can to resolve the Palestinian problem.” I agree with al-Shimi here – the Palestinian problem has gone on long enough, and Israel has had enough stones and rockets thrown at it. It’s time for the “Palestinians” to give the Jews some peace.