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Your Daily Muslim: Sayyed al-Shimi

Sayyed al-Shimi blowing (on) his glasses

Sayyed al-Shimi blowing (on) his glasses

If a person is gullible enough to believe a story as wildly fictitious as the Qur’an, it stands to reason that such a person would also fall for all sorts of other made-up nonsense. For example, astrology, the chosen mental pitfall of Egyptian Muslim Sayyed al-Shimi. Instead of writing a horoscope in a local newspaper or opening a booth in a mall like most crackpot astrologers do, al-Shimi instead took to the television to give his “expert” opinion on all matters of pseudoscience.

“Saturn will enter the fire sign of Sagittarius,” al-Shimi said during a televised interview that he undoubtedly now regrets. “My late father and I have had a long history with Saturn entering fire signs. As sheikh Daud al-Antaki wrote, when Saturn enters any of the fire signs, the Jews grow stronger. Don’t believe in this merely because I say so. It’s been tested.” So basically, because some crazy cleric who believes in invisible poop-eating spirits (Jinn) says something is true, that it must be? I mean, I knew Muslims were gullible, but this has to be a new low in that regard. “We discovered that Saturn entered the fire sign of Sagittarius when the first World Zionist Congress convened. The Balfour Declaration was released when Saturn was in the fire sign of Leo. The Haganah Brigades began organizing and helping the English in 1928, when Saturn was in the fire sign of Sagittarius. The 1948 war took place when Saturn was in the fire sign of Leo. The 1956 war took place when Saturn was in the fire sign of Sagittarius. The 1967 war took place when Saturn was in the fire sign of Aries.” Well, I have no idea what constitutes a “fire sign,” nor do I really care since it’s all a bunch of hogwash, but that seems like Saturn’s got a lot of fire signs. Maybe all those events occurred during fire signs because fire signs are quite common?

“The last time Saturn was in the fire sign of Leo occurred in 2006,” al-Shimi noted, “I started warning [Palestinians] in 2004: ‘Beware, when Saturn enters the sign of Leo, the Jews in Palestine will get stronger. Something leading to this will inevitably occur.’ What happened? The Palestinian Authority split into Fatah and Hamas.” Uhh, what “Jews in Palestine?” I’m guessing he means “Israelis in Israel.” If this fire sign business is true, it only shows one thing: even the universe doesn’t like Muslims.

al-Shimi concluded; “[Saturn] does enter water signs, but in December 2014, it will enter the fire sign of Sagittarius. Therefore, I hope that until December 2014, the Arab leaders must do whatever they can to resolve the Palestinian problem.” I agree with al-Shimi here – the Palestinian problem has gone on long enough, and Israel has had enough stones and rockets thrown at it. It’s time for the “Palestinians” to give the Jews some peace.

2 comments on “Your Daily Muslim: Sayyed al-Shimi

  1. I believe this muslim is onto something. It is a well known astrological fact that when Uranus enters its equinoctial orbit around the sun, the muslims will become stronger, bending over at least five times a day, displaying their anuses proudly for Uranus. Scoff all you like, “butt” it will happen.

  2. I was in Maylasia, years ago when it was one third Malay people, one third Chinese and one third Muslims, now instead of a harmonious society of equality the people must live by this one time minority. Another beautiful country ruined. What does this man not understand about Hard Rock not being about Muslim religious music? Does he realize that he makes himself sound ignorant and foolish? Highly doubtful and as for bloggers, he’s got that all wrong but I have no doubt that the Koran covers women not being allowed online in the future, that it’s either an all male domain or something they work on to destroy the truth getting out about what they do and what they believe. Read about the history of the Koran, it doesn’t come from any verified source, most of what ever it is was collected in parts over 200 years after their child molesting prophet even lived, and some of what they source was scratched on animal bones. Yep, nothing much was written during the time of this amazing prophet at all. The rest, pretty much made up a few hundred years later.

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