What would ever compel a Muslim to shave his beard? Muslims make a big fuss about their facial manes all the time, often to the point of thespian hysterics. However, Abu Muhammad al-Jawlani, the leader of Syrian terror group Jabhat al-Nusra, finally decided to groom himself – going against the command of Muhammad, pigs be upon him, that men should keep their beards. al-Jawlani’s grooming went so far that it included plucking his eyebrows and putting on makeup. Work it, girl!
al-Jawlani donned the niqab, which covered all but his dazzling eyes, and proceeded through many military checkpoints where unsuspecting straight men undoubtedly checked out his curves. He was on his way to Lebanon for unknown purposes, though I’m guessing it involved blowing up infidels. However, the hot crossdressing mess caught the eye of a security employee when going through one of the final checkpoints out of Syria. Wanting to get a piece of what was under al-Jawlani’s niqab, the employee had him detained, where he was unveiled and his identity exposed. Despite the presence of Jabhat al-Nusra members and operatives in many positions of Syrian government, apparently al-Jawlani had business to do in Lebanon – he did not detail why he left Syria.
al-Jawlani has spoken of Jabhat al-Nusra’s loyalty to al Qaeda, specifically terror cleric Ayman al-Zawahiri, especially after rumor of a merger with terror group Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant got out. “We inform you that neither the [Jabhat] al-Nusra command nor its consultative council, nor its general manager were aware of this announcement,” al-Jawlani stated in a press release. General manager? Consultative council? Sounds like you’re managing something a bit more civilized there than a bunch of 7th-century primitives who run around shooting things, screaming “Allahu Akbar!”