9 Comments

Your Daily Muslim #532: Falah Khalid

Falah Khalid figured out how to use Instagram. That's probably the most intellectually-challenging thing this Muslim has ever done.

Falah Khalid figured out how to use Instagram. That’s probably the most intellectually-challenging thing this Muslim has ever done.

“Be a polytheist and the world praises you, you get Nobel peace prizes, challenge that, be an atheist you get awards. Get invited to exotic parties go around the world, have the US navy be right at your disposal in case of any threats. Be a single God following Muslim man the whole world wants you gone and eradicated coz you are an evil and backwarded person. There was a word once for evil and backward people, it was ‘polytheists and atheists.’ Funny how the selling of women and killing of children has comeback with ‘freedom of expression and democracy.'”

Indian-born Muslim Falah Khalid, who now lives in Saudi Arabia, has a real chip on his shoulder. Instead of accepting the superiority of other lifestyles and belief systems, the bitter Muslim spends his time lashing out at them. I guess that’s better than the other kind of lashing Muslims frequently do to infidels. Khalid spends an inordinate amount of time on social media, likely because there’s very little to do in Saudi Arabia – everything fun has been banned because crazy old men labeled it “haram.”

On Facebook, Khalid has declared his support for Islamist preachers like pedophile Muhammad Salah. He is also a noted critic of the western social media trend of uploading fitness photos. On one image uploaded by the bodybuilding.com Facebook page which featured a shirtless man and a woman in a sports bra working out, Khalid asked a very peculiar question: “Since its all over social media i wanna know working out naked makes us further more chiseled or what?” For one, the people weren’t naked, the image was totally G-rated. However, to a Muslim, any woman who shows any amount of skin and doesn’t hide under a ridiculous bedsheet is considered “naked.”

Muslims don’t use toilet paper; instead they put water on their hand and wash their ass out with it as instructed in their holy texts. Many including Khalid criticize the western use of toilet paper.

falahkhalidtoilet

Personally, I’ll stick with the paper. The west knows what it’s doing when it comes to hygiene. Khalid’s accusation that his fellow Muslims in the west use toilet paper is somewhat lacking in merit; many Muslims over here still wash themselves out the Islamic way. As for his gross description of using the paper to clean: maybe he should try toilet paper sometimes. I bet he’d like it.

Now here’s the most bizarre western conspiracy a Muslim has thought up in YDM history. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the intellectual prowess of Falah Khalid and his totally logical train of thought (backed by tons of evidence) that led him to his astounding conclusion:

falahkhalid

I… don’t even know what to say. I think I’ll just let you all keep shaking your heads the rest of the weekend until YDM533 goes up on Monday.

9 comments on “Your Daily Muslim #532: Falah Khalid

  1. WTF….?

    Best regards to Mod and all readers.

    Oz

  2. Some people are just tards. They’ve always been tards, & they’ll always be tards. Other people give themselves permanent brain damage by banging their heads into the ground five times a day. At some point, the damage is irreversible, like football players who’ve suffered too many concussions. Medical examinations have proven that successive head trauma over time severely lowers the inhibition and self-control centers of the brain, particularly the ones related to violence. Is it any wonder that the most devout muslims are the ones who always resort to violence as the first response to any conflict?

    • 100% correct. The ritualism of Islam also has an effect of lulling the mind into performing the bizarre headbanging behavior without even questioning it. Eventually, some Muslims have said, the five prayers become like second nature.

  3. Stool from uranus?
    I didn’t know there were faeces out there but given Uranus’ low temperature (-195°C) it’s pretty safe to assume that washing with water would be futile.

    http://nssdc.gsfc.nasa.gov/planetary/factsheet/index.html

  4. The way they live makes them walking disease factories, imagine eating at a restaurant where poop fingers is preparing the food? How about a baker with poopfingers, yeah real healthy. He lives in Saudi Arabia for a good job, and now he’s bitter because he can’t mix with Saudi’s and must be in a compound where he gets no puss puss and has no chance of ever getting puss puss, so he’s bitter and now turning delusional because he’s been puss puss free for sooooo verrrrrry lonnnng. Say hello to your right hand Abdul!

  5. […] Falah Khalid (532) – Indian-born Muslim who claims that fitness models on bodybuilding.com are “naked.” Khalid also criticized westerners for using toilet paper instead of wetting one’s hand to clean out after pooping. Most absurdly, he claimed tight clothes are a “gay and feminist conspiracy.” […]

  6. ahahaha you cant bring me down besides snooping around on people’s pages and writing garbage which i guess people with much free time only check nobody will believe you. oh yeah, i bet the owner of this blog knows more about me than me myself.

    oh hey, do you even know how to change your own engine oil? or swap a flat tire. stupid nerd with a pc.
    there is much to my life and great deal of it will never make it on social media.
    and hell yeah, I am a gym guy and i follow fitness pages for latest research, people have the right to pose nude and I have the right to make fun of it,

  7. If someone knows me, he knows i crack jokes and all of the shit above is just cracked jokes. if you dont understand that much i can guarantee you aren’t fit for social gatherings. especially around me, coz my jokes are live and you wont get the time to go back home and type it. more than a few people would have laughed at you already.

  8. I’m just counting the days until the REAL shit hits the fan, and the holy war begins. I figure I have another 25 years of life left in me, and I don’t want to spend another year even hearing the term ‘Muslim’ uttered again. What a way to live. They will not hold the World hostage another year.

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