Shannon Maureen Conley

Converting to Islam is all the rage among left-wing hippie types as a bizarre act of “solidarity” or something of that sort. Enter 19-year-old Colorado female Shannon Maureen Conley, a lonely teen who converted to Islam after spending too much time on the internet. Conley drew the attention of her neighbors after her conversion at age 18 when she began to wear the traditional Islamic ninja costume. Even her parents questioned their daughter’s bizarre fashion, but could not convince her that her new imaginary friend, Allah, wasn’t real.

Conley began hanging around a church. Some church leaders tried to make conversation with her, but she had developed the bizarre brand of Tourette’s many Islamic foamers demonstrate. When she ordered biscuits and gravy from the church kitchen one morning, she cursed at the server when she found out it contained (non-halal) meat before throwing the meal in the trash. Conley’s Facebook postings grew more absurd as well, with messages of support for jihadists fighting in Syria. Her own connections to the jihad at that time were unknown.

“If they think I’m a terrorist, I’ll give them something to think I am,” Conley said. As if that ninja costume wasn’t enough reason to suspect. She had begun making detailed blueprints of the church and listed herself as a “Slave of Allah” on Facebook (that’s what many welfare-sucking Muslims in the west list their professional status as.) Totally not a terrorist. Nope. Also, I have no idea why Muslims are so brazenly open about their jihadist intentions. It’s unlikely the 19-year-old Conley realized what such postings would lead to – the end of her romance.

Since she spent much of her time on the internet, the young ninja managed to find a way to contact the mujahideen. She began talking to a man online whom she believed was a Tunisian fighting for an al-Qaeda sect in Syria. Of course, we all know that this man was really a 40-something American… but unlike most 40-something American men on the internet who talk to girls less than half their age, this one was getting paid to talk to the wannabe mujahidah. He and his fellow FBI agents built a file on Conley, who was arrested at the airport before she could board a flight to the middle east.

Why was Conley so interested in the church, anyway? According to her, she “hate[d] those people.” She expressed discontent with the church’s support of Israel, despite the fact that Israel is infinitely superior to her beloved “Palestine.” This typical Muslim behavior has become all too predictable at this point.