Mohammad Javad Ardashir Larijani

“Iran” and “human rights” are pretty much polar opposites. The sharia-governed Islamic Republic executes people for being gay, flogs women who violate bizarre rules of public “modesty,” gouges eyes out, and even stones people to death. However, according to Iran’s human rights chief/cleric Mohammad Javad Ardashir Larijani, all of those forms of barbarism are A-OK. In fact, he said they were something Iran was proud of. Yep, the Iraqi-born former UC Berkeley student rejected everything the west had taught him in favor of rules from ancient times.

Larijani, a Shia Muslim, said of the Iranian penal system: “We are proud of our judicial system and we do not feel uncomfortable with [the] law of retribution and even stoning.” Only a monster would take pride in gouging someone’s eye out for an accident which left another without an eye. Only a savage would support stoning someone to death for adultery. Only a madman would want to see gays hanged by the dozen. Larijani views homosexuality as being “immoral” and a “disease” despite the fact that it hasn’t been classified as such by medical professionals since the early 1970’s. Despite all the opposition to Iranian sharia, Larijani believes his nation is on the right track with how it punishes “offenders” (read: people who don’t care about 7th-century fiction.)

“Stoning means you should do a number of acts by throwing a limited number of stones in a special way,” Larijani stated. “In the eyes of some people, stoning is a lesser punishment than execution because there is a chance you should survive.” Yes, because surviving as a mutilated vegetable is so enjoyable… despite his attempts to convince himself that sharia hudud (punishments) are humane, the reality will hopefully set in and serve as a huge wake-up call to this sadist.

According to Larijani, stoning and amputation under Iranian law are “beautiful.” When Iran began ramping up its program to arrest and execute drug offenders by hanging or stoning, it was met with significant backlash. Larijani responded, “our expectation of international organizations and the world is to be grateful for this great service to humanity.” It would be a real service to humanity if he just shut the f up and stopped having people killed for minor “offenses.”