Fatima Elomar (maybe.)

You know you’ve found yourself a winner when your spouse shares your militant Islamic ideology. Such was the case for Australian Muslims Mohamed Elomar and his wife, Fatima. When Mohamed felt the call to wage jihad with the Islamic State terror group in Iraq & Syria, Fatima did not condemn her husband – of course, there is the whole Qur. 4:34 thing, which permits husbands to beat wives who are disobedient. After Mohamed went overseas in late 2013, Fatima spent her days raising her four spawn. However, she knew staying in the lands of the kuffar would not be an ideal vacation for her family, and she had money and equipment she needed to give to her husband.

She booked a flight to completely moderate Malaysia for an alleged “family vacation,” but was prevented by boarding by a pesky pair of handcuffs and numerous counter-terrorism agents. She was charged with preparing for incursions into a foreign state with the intention of engaging in hostile activities, or in other words, a typical Islamic vacation. Among her belongings were a large amount of cash and camouflage pants. After her arrest, Elomar had a warning for fellow travelers: “At the end of the day this is an example of one must be careful what you pack to travel, let it be a travel warning to leave the camouflage pants at home and best check with Smart Traveller as to what the acceptable fashion is.” Yes, because camo pants are totally in style for mothers. I mean, I know Muslims have terrible fashion sense, but to believe she was planning on wearing those pants is beyond absurd, especially considering how she draped a black bedsheet over herself when sighted in public.

Elomar, who revealed her face to the judge, requested to have her address withheld from the public because of alleged threats she had received from counterjihadists. This is quite possibly just a tactic to smear the Australian Defence League and related groups, but again, the veracity of these claims is speculative. She brought her children to court, hoping to paint herself as a devoted mother and victim of Islamophobia. In no publicized statement did she make mention of the victims of her husband’s jihad.

Speaking of Islamophobia, Elomar accused the media of it, saying they had been pushing “blood, guilt and public opinion” and ­accused one network of trying to “catch her un-scarfed.” Oh, you mean catch her like a normal Australian citizen? Based on that, it would seem the thought of integration is too much for Elomar to bear.

Currently, Elomar and her offspring are at their home. Her trial is ongoing. With the help of her Muslim-loving lawyer/wannabe politician Zali Burrows, who is largely indiscernible from the numerous hookers who prowl outside my apartment on weekends, Elomar is hoping to get off the hook.