This piece contains adult thematic material. Reader discretion is advised.
Full-time ninja/family counselor Wedad Naser Lootah is best known for her book, Top Secret: Sexual Guidance for Married Couples, in which she caused all sorts of controversy across the globe. The Emirati Muslimah drew harsh criticism from hardline Muslims, calling her an infidel for her discussion of sex acts in the tome. Others praised the book’s openness and discussion of widespread, albeit taboo, sexual practices. Of course, she directed the book at married couples, because no one ever has sex outside of marriage. Ever. Because that’s like the worst thing. Ever.
“I’m trying to guide people about how to satisfy each other and save society from illegal relationships – girlfriends, boyfriends,” Lootah said. “We’re talking about Islam.” Many Muslims believe it is haram (forbidden) to date before marriage, a common practice in civilized societies. Instead, Islam encourages its adherents to be thrown into arranged marriages by their families, which (as this site has shown) very frequently go south. Lootah believes those arranged to be married should meet before they are wed, but should not experience any pre-marital romance. Really? So basically she thinks that, by sticking two people together, sparks will end up flying. I hate to break it to her, but it doesn’t quite work that way.
Another subject Lootah has been very outspoken about is the alleged “danger” of anal sex, both in the context of homosexuality and heterosexuality. In her book, Lootah wrote, “many men who had anal sex with men before marriage want the same thing with their wives, because they don’t know anything else.” Or maybe they’re gay and still want the D, but the repressive, backward society they live in forbids it under penalty of jail, lashing, and/or death? Did Lootah think of and/or mention that? Nope, everything has to be within an Islamically-approved framework.
When interviewed, Lootah discussed the story of a young woman she had counselled. “One young girl got married, and for ten years her husband had anal sex with her, and surprisingly enough, she didn’t know it was forbidden,” Lootah said before getting into the prophet (pigs be upon him)’s preferred sexual positions. “One day, we had a class in religious law with a group of women. When we discussed family matters, we said women should observe the prophet’s tradition: ‘From the front and back but not in the anus.’ She began crying hysterically. She had not imagined that it was forbidden and harmful – and might bring a disease. We backed this up with examples from our daily lives. Nearly five million people in Africa have AIDS, and one of the reasons is anal sex.”
Uhh, WHAT?! Anal sex is not the main method by which HIV is spread in Africa; it is through vaginal intercourse. Anal sex can transmit HIV, but far more vaginal sex is occurring than anal, let’s be honest here. Also, her mention that anal sex might bring a disease is unnecessary fear-mongering – all sorts of sex can spread diseases. However, her attempt to make anal sex seem especially bad is the manifestation of the typical Islamic phobia of non-Islamic practices.
Lootah continues to serve as a family guidance counselor and sees numerous couples every day during the work week. Unfortunately, she still probably can’t tell when a man in an arranged marriage is a closet case.