“How terrible it would be for a person whom Allah has favored with Islam to find himself resurrected on the Day of Judgment among non-Muslims – simply because he liked to imitate them.”
Seventh-century regressive Dr. Muhammad Mustafa al-Jibaly is a noted Muslim author and former president of the al-Qur’an was-Sunnah Society of North America, a Salafi Muslim group. The pamphlets and short books al-Jibaly has written are full of unintentionally hilarious passages like, “Astronomical evidence may not be used to establish moon sighting or to verify or refute the sighting of trustworthy Muslims[,]” and make for humorous light reading, kinda like this site except infinitely more stunted.
One of al-Jibaly’s books is titled The Beard Between the Salaf & Khalaf and discusses the Islamic rules and regulations regarding beards – and all other sorts of male body hair. For some unknown reason, it has yet to catch on among the gay community in spite of totally not suggestive passages like, “Anas reported: ‘Allah’s Messenger [pigs be upon him] timed for us trimming our moustaches, clipping our nails, pulling our armpit hair, and shaving our pubic hair – that we do not delay that beyond forty nights.'” So Muhammad, pigs be upon him, liked to watch dudes shave their pubes… hmm. Says a lot.
“All the ‘ulama’ (scholars) of as-Salaf us-Salih (the Righteous early Muslims), including the Four Imams, agree that shaving the beard is haram (prohibited),” al-Jibaly wrote. “They consider shaving it an impermissible mutilation, as has been reported from Umar Bin Abdul Aziz- [At-Tarikh by Ibn Asakir]. They considered the man who shaved his beard effeminate. Many of them would not accept his testimony or allow him to lead the prayers.” Now, I’m sure many of you have heard of one ancient Islamic reasoning behind keeping a beard – so as to not incite desire in other men by appearing (allegedly) effeminate. Preventing a clean-shaven man from leading prayers due to their collective jealousy at his proper grooming habits (causing them to look homeless by comparison) is really catty and childish.
“Shaving the beard is an act of disobedience to Allah, as is expressed in the words of his messenger, Abu Hurayrah reported that the ruler of Yemen, appointed by the Persian emperor Kisra, sent two envoys to the messenger [pigs be upon him]. When they came into his presence, he noticed that they had shaved their beards and let their moustaches grow big. Hating their ugly appearance, he turned his face away and said, ‘Woe be to you, who told you to do so?'” Some men look better with facial hair, others don’t. For a religion to command some people to make themselves uglier in order to uphold a bizarre ancient standard is absurd. But Muhammad, pigs be upon him, was right about one thing – moustaches without an accompanying beard generally don’t look great. Despite his poor taste in wives (read: 6-year-old girls), perhaps Muhammad had good taste in men.
“There is no doubt that Allah’s messenger is the best example of a man, both in his appearance and actions,” al-Jibaly continued. So this modern-day scholar is saying he has complete confidence a dude from the 7th century whom he has never seen is hotter than Channing Tatum et al. Excuse me while I laugh. And don’t even get me started on Muhammad, pigs be upon him, being the best example of a man in his actions – he was a warlord and a child molester.
“[S]having the beard is an act of imitation of the disbelievers, and should be extremely abhorred,” wrote the cleric. Muslims are commanded to be kind to one another but harsh against the kuffar in the Qur’an, and this teaching is in line with that. Aren’t you impressed at how well Islam can integrate into our secular, multicultural society?
Of course, men weren’t the only ones al-Jibaly targeted with his anti-shaving rhetoric. “The messenger [pigs be upon him] has declared that the women who change what Allah has created (such as removing their facial hair, wearing wigs, filing their teeth, or tattooing their bodies) seeking by that to improve their appearance, are accursed by Allah.” I see no reason for a Muslimah to wear a wig; it’s all covered underneath that ridiculous ninja costume they wear. As for filing teeth, it can be necessary, especially after an injury or something of the sort. These blanket prohibitions do more harm than good and create an atmosphere of absurd austerity.
Now, let’s get into that facial hair part. If a woman is not allowed to remove her facial hair and a man is not allowed to remove his facial hair so he doesn’t look like a woman, then by that logic are women not supposed to look like women? Is anyone else as confused by this Islamic “logic” as I am?
That logic becomes especially confounding when looking at this next passage from al-Jibaly. “The beard presents a major distinction between men and women. Shaving it removes this distinction, and is thus a means of imitating women. Any act that involves imitation of the opposite gender makes a person liable for the curse of Allah and his messenger.” Wait, didn’t Muhammad cross-dress to allegedly receive revelations? Oh wait, yeah, Sahih Bukhari 2393 indicates Muhammad said, “…the inspiration did not come upon me when I was in a women’s garment except that of Aisha.” So did Muhammad, pigs be upon him, curse himself? Or was he just a massive hypocrite?
al-Jibaly has also written in support of strict Salafi Islam and the phenomenon he refers to as “Salafi burnout,” where people abandon the religion’s austerity. He commented, “[O]ne sister who used to wear niqab in Houston is now giving dawah on YouTube with her face and neck indecently showing.” Really? A woman showing her face is indecent? You know, your allegedly all-powerful Allah created women uncovered. If he wanted them to be covered, wouldn’t he have covered them when he created them? The niqab is a tool of oppression, nothing more.
Another topic al-Jibaly decided to express his knowledge of was the barbaric ritual new parents partake in seven days after birth. In Islam, the slaughter of aqiqah is allegedly an act of thankfulness to Allah, but it’s really just an act of unnecessary cruelty. New parents must slaughter an animal in the barbaric halal fashion (or have one slaughtered for them), then prepare and consume its meat with members of the community in a celebratory feast. Here’s where it gets weird – often, two goats are sacrificed for the birth of a male child, while only one is sacrificed for a female. This is in line with teaching that the testimony of a woman is worth half that of a man, and is further evidence that Islam does not equally value women, despite what lying Muslims and idiot apologists tell you. There is a Hadith which backs up this absurd practice, “Narrated Umm Kurz: The Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Two sheep which resemble each other are to be sacrificed for a boy and one for a girl.” (Sunan Abu Dawood Book 15, No. 2830) Cows, goats, sheep, and camels are the most common aqiqah sacrifices.
That isn’t the only sexist practice al-Jibaly has written about. You know how many Muslimahs say wearing the hijab is a choice? I’ll just let al-Jibaly disprove that for you: “A girl should start hijab from the age of seven. By the age of ten it becomes an obligation on us to force her to wear hijab.” The purpose of wearing the hijab is to allegedly preserve a girl’s modesty, to keep her from tempting men with her uncovered skin. What al-Jibaly is saying is that he believes girls at the age of seven become tempting to men, and certainly do by the age of ten. Eww.
What is his proposed solution? Tell Muslim men to not be pedophiles? No, because that would be going against the example of the prophet. “And if she doesn’t wear hijab, we hit her.” Yep, that’s right – child abuse is his suggested solution. Blame the girl for not wanting to obey a bizarre rule forced on her by men who would apparently otherwise be tempted to violate her. If this savagery doesn’t outrage you, congratulations, you’re probably a Muslim.
Look out for more publications from al-Jibaly in the future – they might be even more unintentionally hilarious than his ramblings about body hair.