It’s post 666. I think this Muslim is the perfect fit.
Phoenix Muslim Nadir Hamid Soofi, who owned a carpet-cleaning business, decided he’d prefer to clean the “carpets” of 72 virgins. With his roommate Elton Simpson, who was a convert to Islam, Soofi made plans to ascend into jannat al-firdaus to finally have the sex life his religion forbade him from having in this world. Their target? An event hosted by counterjihad activist Pamela Geller of the American Freedom Defense Initiative. The purpose of the event was to celebrate the freedoms afforded in the west by drawing images of Muhammad, pigs be upon him. Of course, such a transgression couldn’t go unpunished in the eyes of crazed headbangers like Soofi and Simpson.
The event, which offered a $10k prize for the winner of the Muhammad cartoon contest, was attended by counterjihad activists from around the world. The organizers hired a security detail due to the event’s controversial nature. Hoping to attain the high score, Soofi and Simpson came armed with Magic Muslim Peace Sprayers™. They drove from Phoenix to Garland, TX to carry out their jihad.
Shortly before the attack, they had pledged their loyalty to the Islamic State (ISIS) terror group. However, like most terrorists, they were complete idiots. They pulled up outside the event, got out of their car, and opened fire. A security guard was struck in the leg, but he quickly drew his weapon and gave both Muslims forehead piercings. Why their precious sky-demon Allah didn’t aid them in their jihad against the kuffar is unknown… oh wait, it’s because Allah does not exist.
Those inside the event were escorted into another room by the hired security personnel. They began to sing patriotic songs. The fact that Muslims attacked the event vindicated the attendants. The winning cartoon by Bosch Fawstin was incredibly fitting. We draw Muhammad because we will not be silenced by threats. We will not back down to savagery. Our freedoms are too important.