Amputations & Beheadings

Your Daily Muslim #598: Mohammad Ali Baryalei

Your Daily Muslim #598: Mohammad Ali Baryalei

Australia Week 2014 on YDM continues! Today’s Muslim is Mohammad Ali Baryalei, who is believed to be one of Australia’s most senior Islamic State supporters. Considering that he doesn’t look a day above 35, he’s either got a damn good plastic surgeon, or most Islamic State supporters don’t tend to live that long. Judging by […]

Your Daily Muslim #596: Mohammed Junaid Thorne

Your Daily Muslim #596: Mohammed Junaid Thorne

“Show your might against the kuffar (infidels) and be merciful towards each other.” Today, more than 600 officers in Ausfailia conducted raids against Muslims suspected of involvement in a terror cell. The cell was planning to kidnap random Ausfailians, behead them, and upload videos of the crimes to social media. The raids happened at dawn, […]

Your Daily Muslim #595: Mehdi Nemmouche

Your Daily Muslim #595: Mehdi Nemmouche

“Do you know what happens when I go into a Shiite home? First, there’s the grandmother — I only use one bullet on her, she’s not worth more — then the wife. First I rape her, then I cut her throat. Then I come to the baby. Ah, a baby! You cannot imagine the pleasure […]

Your Daily Muslim #593: Ali Selim

Your Daily Muslim #593: Ali Selim

“Islam presents polygamy or having a [sic] more than one wife as a solution to certain questions that can never be answered except in this way.” Yep, Ireland has Muslims too. And yep, they’re just as crazy as they are everywhere else. Unlike the rest of the nation, however, they’re quite a bit less inebriated […]

Your Daily Muslim #586: Faisal Albagdadi

Your Daily Muslim #586: Faisal Albagdadi

Muslims aren’t known for making the best decisions, and neither are drunk people. What happens when a Muslim goes against the teachings of his faith and gets belligerently drunk? The inner mujahid (jihadist) comes out. Florida Muslim Faisal Albagdadi and his friend/fellow Muslim Ahmed Hindi got ragingly drunk and decided their night wasn’t over. Their […]

Your Daily Muslim #578: Islam Yaken Aly Khomais

Your Daily Muslim #578: Islam Yaken Aly Khomais

(Note: Islam Yaken Aly Khomais is probably not actually gay. I sometimes put Muslims’ selfies in the Grindr template because it allows for many jokes to be made. Sorry, gay dudes. I know what y’all were thinking, but he’s not going to wage anal jihad on you or let you do so to him. The […]

Your Daily Muslim #571: Farah Mohamed Shirdon

Your Daily Muslim #571: Farah Mohamed Shirdon

Many Muslim youth are emigrating from the west to Syria and Iraq to join terror groups like IS (formerly ISIS.) One such troubled oung man was Calgary resident Farah Mohamed Shirdon, a Muslim of Somali background. Instead of cutting one’s wrists or hanging oneself like a normal person attempting suicide, Muslims fly across the world […]

Your Daily Muslim #566: Mohammad Javad Ardashir Larijani

Your Daily Muslim #566: Mohammad Javad Ardashir Larijani

“Iran” and “human rights” are pretty much polar opposites. The sharia-governed Islamic Republic executes people for being gay, flogs women who violate bizarre rules of public “modesty,” gouges eyes out, and even stones people to death. However, according to Iran’s human rights chief/cleric Mohammad Javad Ardashir Larijani, all of those forms of barbarism are A-OK. […]

Your Daily Muslim #565: Zakir Hussain

Your Daily Muslim #565: Zakir Hussain

Family arguments aren’t enjoyable, even less so if your family is Muslim. Pakistani Muslim Zakir Hussain got into an argument with his brother over some family property and decided to drag his eight-year-old daughter, Masarat Naz, into it. Instead of resolving the dispute rationally, Hussain decided it would be best if he removed what he […]