Dietary Absurdity
Your Daily Muslim #683: Sohail Qureshi
Every so often, a celebrity comes out in favor of pseudoscience. However, even Jim Carrey’s recent anti-vax tirade pales in comparison to the bullshit peddled by celebrated Pakistani doctor Sohail Qureshi. A devout Muslim, Qureshi makes sure to focus on faith when performing his healing works at the clinic he owns. As I’m sure you […]
Your Daily Muslim #679: Illiza Saaduddin Djamal
Ramadan is in full swing. During this time of year, Muslims add to their collective irritability by depriving themselves of basic nutrition for most of the day. In Jakarta, selling food between dawn and 4pm during Ramadan is prohibited because it would encourage people to make proper health decisions instead of letting an ancient fairytale […]
Your Daily Muslim #673: Karim Kazane
Despite pigs having been deemed unclean by his religion, UK Muslim Karim Kazane appears to be trying his damnedest to look like one. The 23-year-old hamplanet went out to a restaurant called Zizzi’s, where he made sure to order a pizza that fell within his religion’s absurd dietary code. While the restaurant staff should have […]
Your Daily Muslim #672: Mücahid Cihad Han
Turkish Islamic da’ee, wannabe scholar and anti-drinking activist Mücahid Cihad Han (sometimes Anglicized as Mujahid Jihad Han) decided to field viewers’ questions on television. This was his first mistake. Err, no, his first mistake was believing in a seventh-century child-porn fairytale. But I digress. A male viewer called in and explained that he masturbated frequently […]
Your Daily Muslim #670: Mohammad Azizan Ismail
Malay Islamist group Perkasa has popped up a few times on this website for engaging in various forms of seventh-century idiocy, sometimes involving dogs. Man’s best friend is seen as ritually unclean (nejis) in Islam and many Muslims are waging jihad against any sort of canine presence. Perkasa posted on Facebook suggesting that a string […]
Your Daily Muslim #667: Homaidan Ali al-Turki
Saudi Muslim Homaidan Ali al-Turki had a wife and five children. He was in the US on a scholarship and seemed to be trying to improve himself. Despite having five children to look after, he felt it was more important to focus his attentions on the maid. al-Turki had hired a maid, whom he had […]
Your Daily Muslim #639: Shahul Ahmed
“Where are you the Muslim world!!!! If we don’t fight for [Masjid al-Aqsa] why are we living then…” Shahul Ahmed is not this Muslim’s real name. It is an alias he uses to do the work of his beloved sky-demon Allah. Numerous Islamic black-hat (malicious) hackers have recently been targeting any and all Israeli sites. […]
Your Daily Muslim #635: Mohammad Farman Ali
Pakistani Muslim Mohammad Farman Ali is a man of many appetites. His hunger grew insatiable. When he saw locals burying a woman’s body, he knew he couldn’t resist any longer. That night, he unearthed the woman and hid her body in his house he shared with his brother, Mohammad Arif. Upon a visit to the […]
Your Daily Muslim #634: Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf
Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, born Chris Wayne Jackson, played for the Denver Nuggets. His career plummeted after he took a bizarre stand – or, more specifically, seat. Instead of standing for the national anthem with the rest of his team, Abdul-Rauf chose to remain seated or stretch. Why? Because he is Muslim – and any form of […]
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