Tag Archive | Egypt
Your Daily Muslim: Muhammad Abdul-Malik al-Zoghbi
Some people have no idea how dirty what they’re saying actually is. Egyptian Sunni Islamic cleric Muhammad Abdul-Malik al-Zoghbi is one of those people. In a televised speech, he unintentionally discussed the early practice of gay BDSM by an ancient Pharaoh as part of a tirade against Jews. “[Pharaoh] would ride a Jew as one […]
Your Daily Muslim: Alla Said
Egyptian cleric Alla (not to be confused with Allah) Said is paranoid and suffers from extreme hallucinations involving global conspiracies masterminded by Jews. This psychosis has also led him to blame Jews for everything, including numerous first-world nations, the existence of gays, and World War II. “Who is the terrorist? It is the Jews who […]
Your Daily Muslim: Sadeq al-Ghariani
Sheikh Sadeq al-Ghariani is the grand Mufti and head of the Fatwa Office in the government of Libya. Basically, he sits around reading a book of child porn called the Qur’an and then uses it to tell people what to do. Here are some of his rulings, which range from the hypocritical to the bizarre […]
Your Daily Muslim: Safwat Hegazy
“Dispatch those sons of apes and pigs [Jews] to the hell fire on the wings of Qassam rockets.” Egyptian Islamic cleric Safwat Hegazy’s mind is a wasteland of superstitions, propaganda, and violence. A noted TV preacher, Hegazy’s basically the go-to guy if you want to hear something absolutely blow-your-mind crazy. Best known for his televised […]
Your Daily Muslim: Sad Arafat
Egyptian Islamic cleric Sad Arafat is actually pretty sad. His track record with women isn’t the best because of how horribly he treats them, and he’s recently come to accept his forever-alone status. The only women who want him charge by the hour and are only accessible in whorehouses and dark alleys. Arafat has probably […]
Your Daily Muslim: Muhammad Raed
We all know that Muslims love porn. The Qur’an is full of it, including scenes featuring small children. Pakistan, an Islamic nation, leads the world in porn searches per capita. Egyptian Muslim Muhammad Raed, however, has a penis so small he is almost physically incapable of masturbating. Out of a severe case of penis envy, […]
Your Daily Muslim: Ahmad Mahmoud Abdullah
Ahmad Mahmoud Abdullah, also known as Abu Islam, is the latest in a long line of Islamic clerics who want to be douchier than Mr. “legitimate-rape” himself, Todd Akin. Abdullah is a sheikh who resides in Egypt, and he is known for giving televised speeches and sermons. In one such recent speech, he claimed that […]
Your Daily Muslim: Rasmi Ajlan
Egyptian cleric Rasmi Ajlan is one of the most brilliant Islamic scientists of the modern era. His research into prenatal factors as determinants of a child’s intelligence is truly groundbreaking. His findings: the more times a woman is “fertilized” during pregnancy, the more intelligent her offspring will be. Of course, Ajlan followed strict Islamic protocols […]
Your Daily Muslim: Hazem Salah Abu Ismail
We’ve all seen crazy conspiracy-theorist types on shows like Ancient Aliens. Egyptian lawyer/politician Hazem Salah Abu Ismail is basically a Muslim version of those people. Quite possibly on hallucinogens, his level of delusion has gotten to the point of seeing things that are not there. Ismail claims that PEPSI is an acronym for “Pay Every […]
Your Daily Muslim 