Tag Archive | militant

Your Daily Muslim: Kabiru Sokoto

Your Daily Muslim: Kabiru Sokoto

Nigerian Muslim Kabiru Sokoto is a midget whose face looks like it received plastic surgery at the hands of a trash compactor. Fraught with self-doubt and low self-esteem due to his hideous visage, he felt an increasing need to prove himself to society and large and to his invisible best friend, a psychopath named Allah. […]

Your Daily Muslim: Fuad Mohamed Khalaf

Your Daily Muslim: Fuad Mohamed Khalaf

Growing up in what is the worst country in the world by all imaginable measures must be difficult. Somalia is a nation lacking infrastructure and stricken by poverty, disease, and violence. It’s a mostly Islamic country with few resources or products of value, and the nation’s elected officials have implemented sharia as a component of […]

Your Daily Muslim: Aliou Mahamar Toure

Your Daily Muslim: Aliou Mahamar Toure

Mali Islamist Aliou Mahamar Toure probably had a really bad handjob experience or two based on his hatred of hands. A sharia-police commissioner of an Islamist-controlled area, he enforces the sharia upon anyone caught doing anything remotely enjoyable. The punishment: death, or the removal of limbs. Toure said in an interview: “We don’t have to […]

Your Daily Muslim: Humam Khalil Abu-Mulal al-Balawi

Your Daily Muslim: Humam Khalil Abu-Mulal al-Balawi

Aside from having one of the longest names in recorded history, Saudi Humam Khalil Abu-Mulal al-Balawi was a rather ordinary guy before he discovered radical Islam. He worked as a doctor (who likely wrote prescriptions for camel piss to cure all ailments) and his wife worked as a full-time bedsheet model, the #1 career for […]