Tag Archive | muhammad

Your Daily Muslim: Ali Rashid

Your Daily Muslim: Ali Rashid

Fatass Muslim Ali Rashid, a Syrian national living in the UK, just wanted a little lovin’. Not knowing how to get laid and impeded by a mass of lard attached to his torso, Rashid waddled his way to a swimming and spa facility and tried to get his dick wet (but not by sticking it […]

Your Daily Muslim: Abdel Aziz Khoga

Your Daily Muslim: Abdel Aziz Khoga

The stereotype that the elderly are technologically incompetent is of debatable veracity, and Saudi Arabia’s Minister for Media and Culture Abdel Aziz Khoga is a leading argument for the stereotype’s validity. Like most of Saudi Arabia, he stays up with modern trends by reading the seventh-century novel titled The Qur’an, which was possibly written during […]

Your Daily Muslim: Safwat Hegazy

Your Daily Muslim: Safwat Hegazy

“Dispatch those sons of apes and pigs [Jews] to the hell fire on the wings of Qassam rockets.” Egyptian Islamic cleric Safwat Hegazy’s mind is a wasteland of superstitions, propaganda, and violence. A noted TV preacher, Hegazy’s basically the go-to guy if you want to hear something absolutely blow-your-mind crazy. Best known for his televised […]

Your Daily Muslim: Mohammad Masroor

Your Daily Muslim: Mohammad Masroor

Mohammad Masroor, like the prophet he was named after, likes ’em young. An imam at Toronto’s Baitul Mukarram Islamic Center, is accused of having molested thirteen young worshippers, at least five of whom have also come forward to accuse him of threatening them with death if they contacted authorities. Before joining the Islamic Center, Masroor […]

Your Daily Muslim: Sad Arafat

Your Daily Muslim: Sad Arafat

Egyptian Islamic cleric Sad Arafat is actually pretty sad. His track record with women isn’t the best because of how horribly he treats them, and he’s recently come to accept his forever-alone status. The only women who want him charge by the hour and are only accessible in whorehouses and dark alleys. Arafat has probably […]

Your Daily Muslim: Pujiono Cahyo Widianto

Your Daily Muslim: Pujiono Cahyo Widianto

It’s Valentine’s Day, so let’s celebrate with this story of true love between a middle-aged man and his 12-year-old bride. Now excuse me while I vomit. Pujiono Cahyo Widianto, 48, whose name has colloquially become synonymous with “pervert,” is a pedophile of the highest degree. A respected Islamic cleric, he chose to be like the […]

Your Daily Muslim: Kausar Sacranie

Your Daily Muslim: Kausar Sacranie

Fashion ranges from the mundane to the hideously bizarre. In terms of swimwear, the “burkini” designed by UK Muslim Kausar Sacranie most definitely falls under “hideously bizarre.” Basically, a burkini is a full-body wetsuit that leaves only the feet, hands, and face exposed. Unlike regular wetsuits, however, it’s loose-fitting, so fatasses can attempt to hide […]