Tag Archive | muhammad
Your Daily Muslim: Ali Rashid
Fatass Muslim Ali Rashid, a Syrian national living in the UK, just wanted a little lovin’. Not knowing how to get laid and impeded by a mass of lard attached to his torso, Rashid waddled his way to a swimming and spa facility and tried to get his dick wet (but not by sticking it […]
Your Daily Muslim: Abdel Aziz Khoga
The stereotype that the elderly are technologically incompetent is of debatable veracity, and Saudi Arabia’s Minister for Media and Culture Abdel Aziz Khoga is a leading argument for the stereotype’s validity. Like most of Saudi Arabia, he stays up with modern trends by reading the seventh-century novel titled The Qur’an, which was possibly written during […]
Your Daily Muslim: Safwat Hegazy
“Dispatch those sons of apes and pigs [Jews] to the hell fire on the wings of Qassam rockets.” Egyptian Islamic cleric Safwat Hegazy’s mind is a wasteland of superstitions, propaganda, and violence. A noted TV preacher, Hegazy’s basically the go-to guy if you want to hear something absolutely blow-your-mind crazy. Best known for his televised […]
Your Daily Muslim: Mohammad Masroor
Mohammad Masroor, like the prophet he was named after, likes ’em young. An imam at Toronto’s Baitul Mukarram Islamic Center, is accused of having molested thirteen young worshippers, at least five of whom have also come forward to accuse him of threatening them with death if they contacted authorities. Before joining the Islamic Center, Masroor […]
Your Daily Muslim: Sad Arafat
Egyptian Islamic cleric Sad Arafat is actually pretty sad. His track record with women isn’t the best because of how horribly he treats them, and he’s recently come to accept his forever-alone status. The only women who want him charge by the hour and are only accessible in whorehouses and dark alleys. Arafat has probably […]
Your Daily Muslim: Pujiono Cahyo Widianto
It’s Valentine’s Day, so let’s celebrate with this story of true love between a middle-aged man and his 12-year-old bride. Now excuse me while I vomit. Pujiono Cahyo Widianto, 48, whose name has colloquially become synonymous with “pervert,” is a pedophile of the highest degree. A respected Islamic cleric, he chose to be like the […]
Your Daily Muslim: Kausar Sacranie
Fashion ranges from the mundane to the hideously bizarre. In terms of swimwear, the “burkini” designed by UK Muslim Kausar Sacranie most definitely falls under “hideously bizarre.” Basically, a burkini is a full-body wetsuit that leaves only the feet, hands, and face exposed. Unlike regular wetsuits, however, it’s loose-fitting, so fatasses can attempt to hide […]
Your Daily Muslim: Syed Munawar Hasan
This Muslim’s got war in his name. That can’t possibly be a good sign. Syed Munawar Hasan is the president of Pakistan’s Jamaat-i-Islami political party. He believes “[the prophet] Muhammad’s life [is] a complete code of conduct for everyone to abide by in order to be a true leader.” Well, considering the shitty condition of […]
Your Daily Muslim: Abdallah Kamal
“We say to [those who call Muhammad a child molester]: Shut up. May Allah silence you, cut off your tongue, and destroy the very foundations of your being, for you are leveling accusations against the master of humanity, the beloved of God, the Messenger of the Lord of the Worlds.” As you may or may […]
Your Daily Muslim 