Tag Archive | Sheikh
Your Daily Muslim: Sad Arafat
Egyptian Islamic cleric Sad Arafat is actually pretty sad. His track record with women isn’t the best because of how horribly he treats them, and he’s recently come to accept his forever-alone status. The only women who want him charge by the hour and are only accessible in whorehouses and dark alleys. Arafat has probably […]
Your Daily Muslim: Ahmad Mahmoud Abdullah
Ahmad Mahmoud Abdullah, also known as Abu Islam, is the latest in a long line of Islamic clerics who want to be douchier than Mr. “legitimate-rape” himself, Todd Akin. Abdullah is a sheikh who resides in Egypt, and he is known for giving televised speeches and sermons. In one such recent speech, he claimed that […]
Your Daily Muslim: Abdallah Kamal
“We say to [those who call Muhammad a child molester]: Shut up. May Allah silence you, cut off your tongue, and destroy the very foundations of your being, for you are leveling accusations against the master of humanity, the beloved of God, the Messenger of the Lord of the Worlds.” As you may or may […]
Your Daily Muslim: Abdullah Daoud
Babies are sexy beasts. So sexy, in fact, that men feel an uncontrollable urge to rape them. At least, this is, according to Saudi sheikh Abdullah Daoud. Horny and unable to keep his hand out of the proverbial cookie jar, Daoud issued a fatwa in an attempt to curb the temptations he was facing: baby […]
Your Daily Muslim: Yasser al-Habib
What wears glasses, is stuck in the seventh century, and is gayer than the child of Elton John and Ellen DeGeneres? If you guessed UK-based Kuwaiti cleric Yasser al-Habib, you’d be correct. al-Habib is a Shia Islamic cleric whose speeches are viewed as particularly arousing by some members of his congregation. When not getting his […]
Your Daily Muslim: Abdul Mohsin al-Abaican
Today’s post is about tits. Now that I’ve caught the straight male and lesbian readers’ attention, let’s begin. Saudi Sheikh Abdul Mohsin al-Abaican came into the spotlight with a most peculiar fatwa: grown men can drink women’s breast milk. Why? So they can legally spend time alone together. Apparently in Islam, a man drinking a […]
Your Daily Muslim: Abd al-Aziz Fawzan al-Fawzan
Saudi Islamic cleric Abd al-Aziz Fawzan al-Fawzan is a typical Islamist: spiteful toward the west, a horrible sexist, and major fashion criminal. A well-renowned author and sheikh, he is a professor of Islamic (sharia) law at Imam Muhammad ibn Saud Islamic University. That university is also believed to offer classes in suicide vest preparation, floor-licking […]
Your Daily Muslim: Juma Ali Juma (DAILY DOUBLE!)
Juma Ali Juma (not to be confused with Jumanji) is a Tanzanian sheikh whose savage words drew the attention of the international community. Juma, in a speech at his mosque, told his congregation not to cooperate with non-Muslims or engage in their celebrations. Another local Muslim leader, sheikh Salim Barahiyan, had to cover for Juma […]
Your Daily Muslim: Assim Alhakeem
“What good is a man without jealousy? In Islam, such a person is called Dayyooth. What good is a woman who is not bashful or shy? This is known as the rajilah among women, [she] who acts and behaves like men. Both are in hell as indicated by the prophet Muhammad [pigs be upon him]. […]
Your Daily Muslim 