Tag Archive | Terrorist

Your Daily Muslim: Kabiru Sokoto

Your Daily Muslim: Kabiru Sokoto

Nigerian Muslim Kabiru Sokoto is a midget whose face looks like it received plastic surgery at the hands of a trash compactor. Fraught with self-doubt and low self-esteem due to his hideous visage, he felt an increasing need to prove himself to society and large and to his invisible best friend, a psychopath named Allah. […]

Your Daily Muslim: Hassan Abujihaad

Your Daily Muslim: Hassan Abujihaad

Anyone who converts to Islam and chooses to put ‘jihad’ in their name, however misspelled, is obviously up to no good. US Navy sailor Paul Hall had grown tired of getting confused with second-rate rapper Paul Wall, so he changed his name to Hassan Abujihaad upon his conversion to Islam. Unlike many Muslim converts who […]

Your Daily Muslim: Samira Ahmed Jassim al-Azzawi

Your Daily Muslim: Samira Ahmed Jassim al-Azzawi

Samira Ahmed Jassim al-Azzawi was well past her first midlife crisis, and after going through menopause, decided it was time to have another. The Iraqi Muslim, dressed in the traditional Islamic ninja costume, made it her mission to recruit other women to her newfound cause: jihad. She crafted a new image for herself (without Botox), […]

Your Daily Muslim: Salma Kabal

Your Daily Muslim: Salma Kabal

Pregnant UK Muslim Salma Kabal is the definition of clingy. Despite the fact that her husband Ashik Ali had left her to prepare to wage jihad, she continually begged him to return to help raise the child she’s carrying. It is unknown what the offspring of a human and a Nazgul like Kabal would look […]

Your Daily Muslim: Abu Khalid Abdul-Latif

Your Daily Muslim: Abu Khalid Abdul-Latif

Abu Khalid Abdul-Latif, born Joseph Anthony Davis, is a Washington Muslim who wanted to get his jihad on. Suffering from extreme hallucinations, including some involving a man in the sky named Allah and a pedophile named Muhammad, Abdul-Latifah began seeking out ways to please his imaginary friends. He decided to plan a jihad attack against […]

Your Daily Muslim: Shaker Elsayed

Your Daily Muslim: Shaker Elsayed

Imam Shaker (not to be confused with Shakira) Elsayed of the Dar al-Hijrah mosque in Virginia is basically taunting the west to see how much bile he can spew before someone does something about it. It’s time we infidels said “enough.” Elsayed recently gave a speech to his congregation telling them that world leaders have […]

Your Daily Muslim: Muhammad Hussain

Your Daily Muslim: Muhammad Hussain

“We blow one recruiting center up… then we hit another one… [until] there’s no more recruiting centers in Maryland.” Muhammad Hussain, born Antonio Martinez, is a Muslim convert from the United States who felt the best way to show his faith in Allah was to blow up military recruiting centers around the Baltimore area. While […]