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Your Daily Muslim #672: Mücahid Cihad Han

Mucahid Cihad Han with a "friend."

Mücahid Cihad Han with a “friend.”

Turkish Islamic da’ee, wannabe scholar and anti-drinking activist Mücahid Cihad Han (sometimes Anglicized as Mujahid Jihad Han) decided to field viewers’ questions on television. This was his first mistake. Err, no, his first mistake was believing in a seventh-century child-porn fairytale. But I digress. A male viewer called in and explained that he masturbated frequently despite the fact that he was married, and even on a pilgrimage to Mecca.

Of course, sane people know there’s nothing wrong with that – if you’re married, the sex is almost inevitably stale and thus turning to one’s hand (or another’s) is completely reasonable. But of course, those paralyzed by the fear of sexuality instilled in them by ancient fiction feel incredible amounts of guilt because of their biological urges. Han told the viewer that masturbation is haram (forbidden) in Islam, though some scholars argue it is a minor sin instead of being as heinous as eating bacon.

Han then went far off the deep end. “Moreover, one Hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights,” he said. Wow. I didn’t know my hands had ovaries! Islamic science is so educational!

“If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry, but what can I say now?” Han continued, not realizing that plenty of married people jerk off every day. Another thing to recommend would be for the man to get some on the side – whoops, nope, haram. Marrying a second wife isn’t haram because Islam allows men to marry up to four, but does not afford women the same freedom because the religion is inherently misogynistic. Two wives’ worth of nagging, however, is an obvious and immediate no thank you.

When my hands give birth after I die, I’ll gladly chronicle their babies’ lives for y’all.

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Your Daily Muslim #671: Waqqas Hussain

Waqqas Hussain

Waqqas Hussain

UK Muslim Waqqas Hussain and two of his Muslim friends really didn’t like this other dude who was also a Muslim. Instead of ignoring him or working out their differences like civilized people, the seventh-century savages decided it would be a good idea to put him through a terrifying, violent ordeal.

The trio of miscreant Muslims kidnapped their victim, stuffing him into the trunk of their car before driving to a secondary location. The three then decided to get all 50 Shades of Gay on the victim, stripping him and repeatedly hitting him. I mean, if it were consensual, this wouldn’t be an issue – but it wasn’t. The naked victim was then released – with his head still attached, surprisingly.

The three assailants were arrested and have been charged with kidnapping. Let’s see if the UK courts sentence them to prison dawah or if they let them go due to “cultural differences.” Of course, the couts aren’t expressing any interest in pressing charges against Hussain for anti-Semitism – an image of the Israeli flag being punched through with the words “death to Israel” on it is his current Facebook profile picture. But again, “cultural differences.” Any criticism of Islam lands you in jail but Muslims can spout death to Jews all day without consequence. The UK is f**ked.

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Your Daily Muslim #670: Mohammad Azizan Ismail

Mohammad Azizan Ismail

Mohammad Azizan Ismail

Malay Islamist group Perkasa has popped up a few times on this website for engaging in various forms of seventh-century idiocy, sometimes involving dogs. Man’s best friend is seen as ritually unclean (nejis) in Islam and many Muslims are waging jihad against any sort of canine presence.

Perkasa posted on Facebook suggesting that a string of tornadoes was the wrath of Allah, his ire drawn by a dog-petting event in addition to the usual “causes” (drinking, gambling, etc.) Yep, petting dogs causes tornadoes. Yet for all of Allah’s alleged wrath, the American Kennel Club hosts numerous giant events for dog lovers every year without any meteorological interruption.

“When vice is widespread, then Allah will unleash his wrath,” a Muslim named Mohammad Azizan Ismail commented on Perkasa’s post. “When Islam is toyed [with] by those who claim to be champions of the religion, then the disasters will be greater.” If disasters are caused by hypocrisy among the leaders of the Muslim world, why hasn’t the Islamic State (ISIS) terror group been wiped out for their rather inaccurate applications of sharia? They should know to throw gays from buildings instead of shooting them in the head! But I guess Allah’s OK with that as long as there are dead bodies.

Ismail is also an opponent of immigration and has accused Malay politicians of manipulating Islam for their own gain, going so far as to call them “opponent[s] of Islam.” Who does he think are the righteous Muslims? The Perkasa crazies. He even claimed that the distribution of Malay-language Bibles may be an attempt to “deflect the belief of Muslims.”

Needless to say, Ismail is crazy. And on the subject of drinking and gambling, I’m off to invite the wrath of Allah in Vegas. I’ve got a couple posts in the queue to tide you over ’til I get back.

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Muslim of the Month Poll

Which of these Muslims best represented their faith?

Nadir Hamid Soofi – US Muslim who attempted to shoot up the Muhammad cartoon contest hosted by counterjihad activist Pamela Geller. Soofi was killed before taking any lives.

Homaidan Ali al-Turki – Saudi Muslim who was arrested while on a visa in the US for sexually abusing his family’s maid for over four years. He then refused to enter a sex offenders’ program in prison because it would require him to look at images of scantily-clad women. al-Turki blamed his prosecution on Islamophobia: “You cannot ask somebody from a different religion to be American to the fullest. You cannot ask them to go dancing, go to the bars. We are Muslim. We are different. The state has criminalized these basic Muslim behaviors. Attacking traditional Muslim behaviors is a focal point of the prosecution.”

Nadia Irsan – Texan Muslimah who assisted her father in killing her sister’s Christian husband. Irsan had previously told her father’s victim, “I cannot wait until my dad puts a bullet between your eyes.” Irsan also helped hold her sister hostage and assaulted her in her vehicle because her sister had chosen to marry for love.

Mochamad Fuad Basya – Indonesian military commander who oversees “virginity tests” carried out on all female recruits. The test involves a man inserting two fingers into the woman’s vagina to determine her virginity. Non-virgin women are disqualified from being able to serve in Indonesia’s military.

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Your Daily Muslim #669: Mohamed Hafiz Mohamed Nordin

Mohamed Hafiz Mohamed Nordin demonstrating the trademark Islamic finger point

Mohamed Hafiz Mohamed Nordin demonstrating the trademark Islamic finger point

Civil liberties lawyer Eric Paulsen was arrested in Malaysia for accusing the Department of Islamic Development, which has previously been featured on YDM, of fomenting extremism. Instead of examining the obvious validity of Paulsen’s assertion, Malay Muslim Mohamed Hafiz Mohamed Nordin, who heads the JMPP Islamic group, supported the arrest. As we’re all too aware, Islam’s followers cannot handle criticism of their religion’s practices.

“[Criticism of Islamism] is like a ticking time bomb that could invite unrest in our country.” Referencing the Charlie Hebdo jihad attack, Nordin continued: “It is hoped that all parties learn from events happening all across the world now. Uncontrolled provocation can lead to that which is undesired by anyone of rational thought.” Excuse me while I laugh at Muslims considering themselves to be “of rational thought.” They’re the ones who believe in an invisible sky-demon who demands they bang their heads on the ground five times a day.

“If [Paulsen] is released just like that, we believe it will fuel the rise of more extremists who hate Islam and the enforcement of Islamic law in Malaysia,” Nordin stated. Who’s the real extremist – the one who wants people arrested for speaking uncomfortable truths or the one who speaks them? Nordin’s crusade against Paulsen is the latest in a long line of examples why Islam and the west will never be compatible.

When a young Malay woman was photographed holding a stray dog at an adoption event, Nordin immediately jumped into action. Cute and fluffy as they are, dogs are viewed as ritually unclean in Islam, and touching them is haram. Nordin demanded that “action” be taken against her. Of course, this probably means incarceration and/or caning. Because nothing screams criminal behavior like holding a puppy.

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Your Daily Muslim #668: Hasanuddin AF

Hasanuddin AF on a poster

Hasanuddin AF on a poster

It’s been a while since I put a “death to gays” Muslim on here. Of course, the religion of peace has given me no shortage of candidates to choose from. This idiot from Indonesia really stood out. Enjoy!

Hasanuddin AF, the head of Indonesia’s leading Islamic clerical organization, recently issued a fatwa advocating for gays and lesbians to be put to death. This mimics the violent homophobia of Muhammad, pigs be upon him, who said of gays: “kill the doer and the receiver.” Hasanuddin’s exact words were: “Sodomy, homosexuals, gays and lesbians in Islamic law are forbidden and [it] is a vile act that is punishable by the death penalty.” No, killing people for being with those they love is a vile act, you seventh-century savage.

Like every other Muslim on here, Hasanuddin just had to dig himself into an even deeper hole, and not the kind I got into Saturday night. “It doesn’t matter that they love each other. The law still prohibits it. In Islamic law, it’s a sexual act that must be heavily punished. It would be bad if the government allows same-sex marriage.” Why must it be punished? Because our sex lives are infinitely better than yours and you’re envious? Because some bloodthirsty warlord from the 7th century wanted more excuses to kill people?

Hasanuddin said the fatwa was issued to remind Indonesians that homosexuality is “deviant” and is a “stain on the dignity of Indonesia.” Actually, the fatwa is the stain on the dignity of Indonesia. Hasanuddin should be ashamed.


Your Daily Muslim #667: Homaidan Ali al-Turki

Homaidan Ali al-Turki

Homaidan Ali al-Turki

Saudi Muslim Homaidan Ali al-Turki had a wife and five children. He was in the US on a scholarship and seemed to be trying to improve himself. Despite having five children to look after, he felt it was more important to focus his attentions on the maid.

al-Turki had hired a maid, whom he had brought with his family from Saudi Arabia, to assist with housework because he had five children and couldn’t keep up with all of his obligations. However, he soon discovered he enjoyed keeping up with her, forcing her to work 12-hour days before locking her in the basement and sexually assaulting her while his wife and kids were in the house. This abuse continued for four years. Of course, Sally Kohn (aka wannabe Rachel Madcow) and all the other left-wingers on CNN won’t touch this story, instead preferring to interview useful idiots and liars who claim that Islam teaches respect for women. Just look at Qur. 4:34 to have that pathetic illusion shattered.

al-Turki was arrested in 2006 and sentenced to 28 years behind bars. However, his sentenced has been reduced to 8 years to life, but he has had difficulty obtaining parole due to his unwillingness to participate in a sex offenders’ program. His reasoning? He’s not allowed to look at images of scantily-clad women, which are included in the program, because doing so “conflicts with [his’ Islamic faith.” Really? What about that innocent maid he abused? Did he just conveniently forget her? He looked at her, and worse, on multiple occasions.

During his trial, al-Turki argued that westerners didn’t understand the different culture from whence he came, and thus he should not be judged by western standards. He also made numerous admissions about Islam and its inability to integrate into American society that every liberal should be forced to listen to until they recognize the truth: “The restrictions placed on [the maid’s] contact with non-relative males were also the same as those applicable to my daughters and other Muslim women in our community. You cannot ask somebody from a different religion to be American to the fullest. You cannot ask them to go dancing, go to the bars. We are Muslim. We are different. The state has criminalized these basic Muslim behaviors. Attacking traditional Muslim behaviors is a focal point of the prosecution.”

No. The state has not criminalized being an idiotic prude who’s so afraid of an invisible sky-demon you can’t go dancing. The state has criminalized oppressing others. Thus al-Turki is right in this regard: the state has criminalized basic Muslim behaviors.

Among those present at his trial were numerous representatives from the local Muslim community, including imams. Even some of his non-Muslim friends had written character references for him.

Many Saudis have taken to the internet to show their support for al-Turki’s release and return to Saudi Arabia. Of course, he should rot in prison for the rest of his miserable life, but the uncivilized mumineen begged to differ. Many claim his arrest was “politically motivated,” and implied Islamophobia was responsible. al-Turki himself blamed his conviction on “cynical Islamophobia.” If arresting sexual predators is Islamophobic, that says more than enough about Islam.

Sexual assault isn’t the only thing this Muslim may have gotten his hands dirty with. The FBI had also been investigating him for possible links to terrorism, as is commonplace with Muslims (I wonder why.)


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