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Your Daily Muslim #681: Hamza Ali Abbasi

Hamza Ali Abbasi preparing to appear in a #gayporn4muhammad meme

Hamza Ali Abbasi preparing to appear in a #gayporn4muhammad meme

The US Supreme Court recently made history by legalizing gay marriage nationwide. Of course, Muslims around the world wanted to get their totally-tolerant 2 cents in. One such Muslim is Pakistani actor and pro-Palestine activist Hamza Ali Abbasi.

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How is homosexuality taboo in animals?! It’s observed in hundreds of animal species. Also, most animals lack the capacity to understand “taboo.”

No one is trying to “justify” homosexuality. It’s already justified, natural, and valid. Saying someone’s homosexuality needs to be justified is the same as saying their Asian race needs to be justified.

Abbasi then committed the fallacy of relative privation, or Appeal to Bigger Problems fallacy, when he said Pakistan had other issues to worry about. What he fails to understand is that a) homosexuality is natural and normal, and b) gay rights are a big issue in Pakistan, where homosexual activity is often harshly punished. However, the nation is among the foremost in the world in gay porn searches.

He then proved his mind equally stunted, if not more so, than those of the oft-caricatured idiots who think legalizing gay marriage will lead to legalizing pedophilia and incest. With as much incest as there is in Pakistan (mainly 1st-cousin arranged marriages), Abbasi’s likely intentional ignorance of the subject is laughable.

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If you haven’t had your fill of head-shaking yet, keep reading.

This was posted along with an image of a crossed-out rainbow after his initial post was criticized.

This was posted along with an image of a crossed-out rainbow after his initial post was criticized.

“But if you remotely believe in a God and a religion and specially Islam, YOU CAN NOT EVER SUPPORT SUCH A THING.” Yep, Islam is totally tolerant and compatible with the west.

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Your Daily Muslim #680: Ubah Ali

Ubah Ali

Ubah Ali

St. Paul Somali Muslimah Ubah Ali and many of her fellow seventh-century celebrants are the latest group of regressives to push sharia compliance on America’s swimming pools. The raucous horde of Muslimahs got in touch with the St. Paul police department and the local YMCA. Together, they began an early-morning swimming instruction program so they could swim without being seen by the opposite sex. Because Islam totally isn’t into segregation.

“We have to have privacy,” Ali said. Her daughter, 12, goes to the lessons. Why do you need privacy? Going to swimming pools is one of the most all-American, innocent pastimes there is. Everyone has a great time. However, Islam isn’t too keen on the idea of fun if it involves even the slightest chance of contact with the opposite sex. For a devout Muslimah like Ali, such a risk was unacceptable.

Want to know what’s actually unacceptable? Refusing to integrate into Western culture and demanding things be gender-segregated.

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Your Daily Muslim #679: Illiza Saaduddin Djamal

Illiza Saaduddin Djamal

Illiza Saaduddin Djamal

Ramadan is in full swing. During this time of year, Muslims add to their collective irritability by depriving themselves of basic nutrition for most of the day. In Jakarta, selling food between dawn and 4pm during Ramadan is prohibited because it would encourage people to make proper health decisions instead of letting an ancient fairytale control them. To mayor Illiza Saaduddin Djamal, a devout Muslimah, allowing people to eat is unacceptable.

“Any violation of the law will be punished with the utmost vigor,” Djamal stated in a press release. What is the punishment for selling food during Ramadan? Public flogging. I never would’ve taken Islam for the type of religion to look for excuses to injure people…

Another recent legal blunder of Djamal’s is the curfew she instated at the beginning of the month. Unless accompanied by a mahram (e.g. husband, male family member), establishments in Jakarta are prohibited from serving women after 11pm. She claims this is to cut down on sex crimes against women, but I can’t help but think she’s envious other women get to enjoy their lives more than her oppressive religion allows her to. “We have studied the matter thoroughly and this is in line with the labor laws,” she said. “Our aim is to protect women employees, especially those working at entertainment spots.” Yes, just like how forcing women to wear ridiculous ninja costumes “protects” them. It isn’t protection. It’s marginalization and oppression.

Djamal’s craziest act, however, comes from her term as deputy mayor. She led the crusade against Jakarta’s punk community, organizing police raids on concerts and parks. Concert-goers were arrested, the men’s heads shaved to remove punk hairstyles (which are somehow offensive against Islam), and sent to a 10-day re-education camp. “The presence of the punk community is disturbing, and disrupts the life of the Banda Aceh public,” Djamal said. No. What’s disturbing is a religion that forces everyone to conform to its rigid standard of “morality” and conduct.

She continued, “This is a new social disease affecting Banda Aceh. If it is allowed to continue, the government will have to spend more money to handle them.” Uhh, actually, you won’t have to spend money if you just LEAVE THEM ALONE. But of course, such a simple principle is beyond the reach of the totalitarian Islamic mind. When a bank manager tried to get out of having to go through the re-education camp due to concerns about keeping his job, Djamal responded: “He’s part of the punk community and whoever was caught has to go through our reeducation so they wake up.” Djamal is the one who should wake up. Newsflash: Allah isn’t real.

One of the reasons Djamal cited for the arrests was the alleged presence of drugs and alcohol at the concerts. Again, this isn’t a problem if you just leave people alone when they aren’t harming anybody. A bunch of happy concert-goers having a few beers or sharing a joint is not a public safety concern.

Djamal’s other motivation was, of course, her religion. “Their morals are wrong,” she said, not realizing she needs to look inward before criticizing others’ morality. “Men and women gather together, and that is against Islamic sharia.” Well, Islamic sharia is against the 21st century, so I think I know which one should win out. To a 7th-century savage like Djamal, however, such a thought is too much to bear.

The backward Muslimah concluded, “We will keep conducting raids until they’re all caught, then we’ll bring them for reeducation here. Aceh [province] is a shariah region. Everyone should obey it and the punk community is clearly against sharia. This training will be an example in Indonesia of the re-education of the punks.” It’s not the punks who need reeducation – it’s the Muslims.

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Your Daily Muslim #678: Ismahan Isse

Ismahan Isse

Ismahan Isse

Ohio Somali Muslimah Ismahan Isse wanted to become a police officer. There was one problem with that: police officers are required to wear uniforms instead of ninja costumes.

Isse realized she would be unable to continue with a law enforcement career if she wore the hijab on duty. She chose to be uncovered during law enforcement training. Instead of transitioning into 21st century police attire, Isse unfortunately allowed her Ohio career dream to become the latest casualty of the religion of peace.

Upon hearing of this terrible injustice, the litigation jihadists at Hamas-linked CAIR sprung into action. They asked for the police dress code to change to be more inclusive of various religious groups. Here’s the thing: it’s a uniform. Everyone has to wear it. Do you think anyone wants to not have any say in terms of their professional attire? No. However, maintaining a dress code definitely helps maintain professionalism in the workplace. Demanding an unbiased standard be changed to accommodate your pseudoscientific beliefs is selfish.

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Your Daily Muslim #677: Zohra Dawood

Zohra Dawood

Zohra Dawood

Bradfordabad, UK. Three sister Muslimahs with between two and 5 children each concocted a sinister plan. They received benefits from the UK government due to their motherhood, and decided they would pool that money together for their children’s future… with the Islamic State (ISIS) terror group.

One of the sisters, Zohra Dawood, claimed she “didn’t like the UK” despite the fact that it’s infinitely better than shitholes like Syria. Why? It’s becoming “too much like America.” Well, with one key difference: America doesn’t have a problem controlling its mujahid problem.

The sisters then talked their male cousin into joining the Islamic State terror group with them, and together with all their children, they fled to Syria. This is one of the biggest parenting fails of all time – instead of protecting their children, the sisters took them into the middle of a warzone.

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Your Daily Muslim #676: Nurashikin Salim (Part 1)

Nurashikin Salim enjoys pretending every day is Halloween.

Scorpion from Mortal Kombat?

Nurashikin Salim will be gracing this site weekly for the next several weeks. There’s quite a bit of material on her.

Most bloggers write about their life experiences, take Instagrammed photos of their failed attempts to be Julia Child, and share odd personal anecdotes. Singaporean Muslimah Nurashikin Salim is not one of those bloggers. A prolific writer rivaling yours truly, Salim enjoys typing out books’ worth of seventh-century idiocy for her followers to skim through for a quick laugh at her expense.

Not that she doesn’t deserve all the ridicule in the world, because she totally does. Her ideas about women’s liberation, LGBT rights, relationships, Israel, selfies, and everything else under the sun are completely at odds with what a civilized person believes.

In a post titled Dear my Muslim LGBTQ Brothers and Sisters…, Salim explains to them why they deserve to be killed in the eyes of many Muslims. Justifying hatred is more important to Salim than fighting it. “We, straight Muslims, do not hate you [LGBTQ Muslims]. In fact, we have never hated you. True, we may seem aggressive with our acts of eradicating LGBTQ from the society but it’s not because we hate you. You are our brothers and sisters and we love you for the sake of Allah SWT. We love you and we don’t want you to get punished for your act.”

To summarize, Salim just said “We don’t hate you, we’re not killing you and trying to wipe out every trace of your existence because we hate you. We’re doing it because we CARE! Our imaginary sky-demon told us so! We don’t want you to potentially face a punishment after death that hasn’t been proven to exist, so we’re going to stone you to death now.” I don’t think she understands what it means to love or care about somebody. You don’t oppress or kill those you love even if some ancient fairytale commands it of you.

Salim then went on to remind LGBT Muslims to continue to feel guilty for being born the way they are. She continued by discussing the ancient city of Pompeii, accusing it of having been a “city of sex” full of gays. Of course, no natural disaster is just that; it’s always the wrath of Allah. “A nearby volcano erupted so violently, its lava destroyed the whole community yet Allah SWT preserved their body so perfectly so that we could learn from their mistakes,” the Muslimah wrote. “These are signs of Allah SWT’s anger.” No, it’s called tectonic plate movement.

To ensure she didn’t leave any LGBT groups out, Salim targeted transpeople next. “Allah SWT even forbids us from cross-dressing,” she began. “Even if a guy wears the headscarf just for sake of fun, it is haram. SubhanAllah [Glory be to Allah].” As if anyone would want to wear the ridiculous Islamic Ringwraith costume anyway.

“Again my homosexual brothers and sisters, we’re not against you,” Salim lied. “It may be hurtful going through the process of purification.” Purification? I mean, gay men do a form of “purification” before and after sex, but I doubt that’s what she’s referring to.

“No doubt, it will be very very hard to contain those urges and desires. But just think of your parents, if not for them, you’ll not see the world. You need both mother’s and father’s love and attention. You know both of them play very different roles. Can you imagine yourself being brought up by same sex parents?” Let me get this straight (no pun intended) – you’d rather people grow up without loving adoptive parents in stable families just because the parents are gay? That’s heartless.

Many Muslims’ view of the LGBT community consists of the hatred their imams preach and the murderous homophobia in their sacred texts. I suspect Salim’s views are equally unrefined based on this next passage. If you haven’t cringed yet, prepare to. “Allah is great. He wants to protect us. Have we not read of the statistic that proportionally, more homosexuals are infected by HIV than heterosexuals? Can’t you see how much Allah SWT, the One who created you, loves you? He knows you more than you know yourself. He forbids homosexuality as He knows how much detrimental effects it will bring to you, to the community.”

Let me see if I have this right – she’s saying that Allah forbids homosexuality because of HIV? HIV has been around less than a century. While she didn’t come out and explicitly say it, there is a small implication that HIV is a punishment from Allah in that passage. Plus, if omnipotent Allah wanted to protect his creations from HIV, he wouldn’t have allowed HIV to exist. And allowing people to get HIV as some sort of twisted “consequence” for being gay, the way he made them, makes no sense. Needless to say, Salim needs gay friends – at the very least, they’d remedy her abysmal fashion sense.

The comments on the post were delightful. Salim received numerous messages from repressed LGBT Muslims whose opinions ranged from unwavering support to stern criticism. Here’s one that shows the true nature of Islam very clearly:

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Hellfire and genocide… religion of peace. Makes perfect sense!

In the comments, Salim spewed more homophobia: “Yeap, it’s true that this lifestyle has been here for ages, but only now that they’re getting serious in propagating their lifestyle into our society. It’s a detriment to our society. We must stop this at once even if there are a lot of barriers.” Barriers? You mean like dental dams? I have to ask because Salim is likely a closeted lesbian/bisexual. I’m not just saying that because her dream job is to be a PE teacher, either:

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If you were tempted to be with a girl, hate to break it to you, but you’re not straight. Also, you don’t have to marry a man, no matter what your religion asks of you.

In another piece, Salim admits she views homosexuality as a choice despite more or less coming out. The self-described former “tomboy” discussed a female love interest from her later teen years. “I didn’t give LGBT much thoughts till I was in pre-university,” she wrote. She prefaced the story by saying she was trying to “[create] a better Ummah.” How? By encouraging (her fellow) LGBT people to suffer in silence.

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“If she knows being a lesbian is haram, why did she still become one?” I’d love to see Bill Maher or Jon Stewart’s reaction to that prime example of 7th-century idiocy. You don’t become a lesbian. People are born that way, as I’m sure Salim is painfully aware. Also, to sane people, accepting themselves is more important than feeling welcome by a religion that opposes their very being.

Salim’s lesbian almost-love story continued:

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Apparently crazy runs in the family. Getting struck by lightning for holding another woman’s hand? That kind of insanity is a bit much, even by Qur’an standards.

The Muslimah elaborated upon the numerous friendships she formed with lesbians, many of whom identified as Muslim. They were wracked with feelings of guilt thanks to the teachings of Islam. Of course, Salim didn’t show them sympathy or call her religion out for the homophobic bullshit it is. Instead, she wrote this:

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Her theory as to why people turn gay is almost as laughable as her mother’s lightning hypothesis. “[S]ometimes there are certain factors that stopped us from getting the love that we need. Sometimes our physical appearance hinders us from attracting the opposite attention. But how??? We are still human! We need to feel loved! Well, that’s when we start resorting to turning our nature self. The devil’s whispers win over you and you start to believe that you’re actually born that way.” Yep, she believes that being ugly turns people gay.

…she has clearly never seen a gay porno or Orange is the New Black.

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Or maybe bisexuals see the positive attributes in both genders and there’s no dislike of anyone involved? Maybe it’s just how they are and there are no weird complexes involved?

Salim attempted to conclude: “I believe there are many other reasons for someone to turn into a lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual. But for sure, whatever Lady Gaga said about being ‘born this way’ is nothing but just propaganda. Do you believe in Lady Gaga or do you believe in Allah SWT more?”

Gaga. Always Gaga. She’s the only real one of the two.

The ninja accused LGBT people of being selfish for being honest about who they are. This is completely heartless and reveals how deep Salim’s brainwashing goes:

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I’m going to break this down sentence by sentence.

1) You have no obligation to anyone to continue your lineage. There’s this thing called bodily autonomy – your parents can’t dictate how you use your body.

2) Traveling to a country that accepts you isn’t selfish; it’s exactly what you should do. People should be able to live free of judgment and hatred for their orientation. You shouldn’t be forced to stay with your family or faith community your entire life. It’s your life. You’re in charge – not your family, not your imam, not an ancient child-porn fairytale called the Qur’an.

3) That’s the problem of those who are homophobic. What others think of you for being LGBT is their problem. Salim is arguing LGBT people should hide in the closet forever because others might not like it. It’s selfish for you to ask others to deny who they are because of your beliefs. LGBT people are the ones who are constantly harassed, often violently, and even flogged, jailed, and executed in Islamic countries, yet you are blaming them for the various forms of backlash against them and their families. Victim-blaming is not OK.

4 and 5) Again, others’ homophobia is their problem and shouldn’t dictate how you live. And as I said earlier, wouldn’t you rather see a child raised in a supportive, loving home than thrown around in the foster care system forever?

6) What “betterment of others?” It’s asinine to think anyone’s life is made better when a significant portion of the population is forced to live a lie to appease the intolerance of the rest. Know how to really work for the betterment of others? Fight for LGBT equality, including marriage and adoption equality. Of course, Salim won’t do that because she thinks society is made better when people are oppressed.

I’ll leave you with this hypocritical gem from this self-unaware Muslimah. “We’re not stereotyping anyone. We’re not teaching people to label anyone. We’re not oppressing or belittling anyone.” Not stereotyping? What was that about HIV earlier? Not oppressing anyone? What about that whole “eradicating LGBTQ from society” bit?

On the next installment of the Nurashikin Salim series, learn her views about women’s liberation. You don’t want to miss this.

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Your Daily Muslim #675: Alaa Bader Abdullah al-Hashemi

alaa al-hashemi

Welcome to Muslimah Week 2015 on YDM! Every year, Muslimah Week comes around once or twice to try to fix the gender disparity of people featured on this site. Turns out a patriarchal religion doesn’t let women have the spotlight very often.

Emirati Muslimah Alaa Bader Abdullah al-Hashemi is the latest in a long line of arguments for banning Islam’s ridiculous ninja costumes. She walked into a women’s restroom in an Abu Dhabi mall. Instead of taking care of her business and leaving, she felt it best to slay the infidel as Qur. 9:5 instructs.

Ibolya Ryan, an American teacher, was using the restroom at the same time as al-Hashemi. Seeing the infidel woman sent al-Hashemi into a rage. The mujahidah stabbed Ryan several times before fleeing the scene, clad in a ninja costume that prevented her from being easily identified by security footage or witnesses.

Of course, this murder was only the first al-Hashemi had planned. Thankfully, she was arrested. Aside from the homicide, she was charged with making an explosive device with the aim of harming others, creating an online account to promote terrorist ideas, spreading information that harmed the country and donating funds to a terrorist organisation. Gee, a Muslim promoting terrorism and trying to make a bomb… no way! Even if such a thing were to happen, it’s in no way indicative of a larger problem; it’s an “isolated incident” perpetrated by a “lone wolf.” It can’t possibly have been motivated by a “religion of peace.”

al-Hashemi’s lawyer claims the witnesses’ testimonies are invalid because they are not Muslims. Under sharia, the testimony of non-Muslim witnesses is viewed as less credible. “The law states cases of murder according to Sharia law are not proven unless they are pleaded by the council of judges, testimony of two male witnesses, or by the oath. The oath taken by the witnesses is invalid as they are not Muslim,” the lawyer stated, thereby telling the world he hasn’t advanced beyond the 7th century.

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