Leave a comment

Your Daily Muslim #683: Sohail Qureshi

“Dr.” Sohail Qureshi

Every so often, a celebrity comes out in favor of pseudoscience. However, even Jim Carrey’s recent anti-vax tirade pales in comparison to the bullshit peddled by celebrated Pakistani doctor Sohail Qureshi. A devout Muslim, Qureshi makes sure to focus on faith when performing his healing works at the clinic he owns. As I’m sure you may have guessed, this “healing” involves a bizarre form of bloodletting no western doctor would ever consider.

Originally from Moscow and trained as a dentist, Qureshi realized his true calling was sucking the life out of people. Far below the requisite attractiveness to audition for the next Twilight rip-off, he had to resort to other methods. His chosen method? Hijama cups. Hijama is an ancient Islamic healing practice from the time of Muhammad, pigs be upon him. Wikipedia, take it away:

The mouth of a cup (metal, glass and plastic cups are generally used, although traditionally horns were used) is placed on the skin at the site chosen for hijama. Then a tight seal is created. The traditional method is to burn a small piece of paper or cotton inside the vessel, so that the mouth of the cup clings to the skin. The cup is left to cling to the skin for a few minutes, then it is lifted off and several very small incisions are made in the skin. The cup is then put back as it was before until the flow of blood subsides.

Needless to say, no doctor in any western society does this, as its medicinal effects have not been proven.

The beginning of the next #gayporn4muhammad movie, titled “2 Guys 6 Cups”

When he isn’t draining people’s blood, Qureshi is posting all sorts of pseudoscientific garbage on Facebook. He manages his clinic’s Facebook page, and in doing so has managed to make his practice look like the complete joke that it is.

sohailqureshi11

What is it with Muslims and pubic hair? The fact that a religion tells its followers how to maintain their pubes should say quite a bit about the nature of that belief system. Also, who likes a man without pubes? Come on now.

Qureshi is a believer in jinns, invisible spirits that feast on feces and other waste matter. Jinns can allegedly possess people, and reciting Qur’an verses can ward them away. Here’s what Qureshi had to say about these invisible (read: non-existent) monsters:

sohailqureshi7

The next bit of pseudoscience this “doctor” bought into is the conspiracy that many processed foods and care products are made from human fetuses. Yep, your microwave dinners are made from babies. Or something like that. Hopefully you can make more sense of this lunacy than I did:

sohailqureshi9

sohailqureshi10

No Muslim conspiracy theorist can finish a rant without accusing Lady Gaga of being involved:

sohailqureshi8

Yes, people spray themselves with sperm and blood. The FDA and other government agencies responsible for ensuring safety definitely allow people to spray themselves with strangers’ bodily fluids. We in the west love using others’ seminal fluid as cologne. It’s all the rage over here. Qureshi’s obviously limited understanding of the west likely stems from his overuse of anti-Semitic websites run by Muslims, who are responsible for the following meme he shared:

sohailqureshi2

If he knew anything about western culture, he’d know that #2 is regarded as a freakshow and #3 is seen as an oppressed victim whose narrative we can’t question. If we did that, we’d be racist (even though Islam is not a race.)

Qureshi also spat in the faces of actual doctors, whose profession he is surely envious of. It’s sad how he openly mocks proper medicine and considers himself to be a learned healer – no wonder actual doctors deemed him unworthy of joining their ranks!

sohailqureshi4

Our doctors use science and treatments based on centuries of research and refinement. Qureshi uses a 7th-century child-porn fairytale. Which do you trust would do a better job?

Here are a couple final pieces of wisdom from this erudite Muslim:

sohailqureshi1

His justification for that claim? A hadith.

sohailqureshi3

And because no YDM piece is complete without a healthy dose of misogyny:

sohailqureshi5

Thankfully, those involved in real science laugh at Qureshi’s work and claims. He’ll be stuck sucking blood for the rest of his life.

Leave a comment

Your Daily Muslim #682: Nurashikin Salim (Part 2)

Nurashikin Salim

Nurashikin Salim

If you haven’t read part 1 yet, click here. This piece contains some of the most messed-up content on this site. Reader discretion is advised.

Singaporean Muslimah Nurashikin Salim, who is July 2015’s Muslim of the Month, is a relic of a long-gone era. Her views are so backward it is difficult to accept her writings as anything other than satire. Unfortunately, she’s quite real and quite serious. This week, I’m going to cover her views on women’s liberation, education, and rape.

When a group of British Muslims (of mixed genders – gasp) made a video of themselves dancing to Pharrell’s “Happy,” Salim felt the need to remind them of all the ways they were betraying their beloved fairytale. “Firstly, (I’m sorry but I’m not being sexist towards my own gender) there are ladies dancing around and the whole world is watching at them!” Salim began, slightly more foamer-esque than normal. “Aren’t we supposed to hijab (cover) ourselves from our non-mahram brothers? Come on, there are other ladies out there that are trying their best to represent Islam in it’s most pure form, and just by that 4 minutes video, the whole world now thinks that Muslimah around the world are supposed to dress and behave that way. For what? As a form of liberation and free from oppression?” Actually, yes. Women can dress how they want. That’s exactly what liberation and freedom from oppression are.

Forbidding a person from doing something because it might trigger a reaction in the opposite sex is sexist in two ways. One, all people should be afforded the same rights regardless of gender, including the ability to dress how they choose without consequence. Second, the soft bigotry of low expectations rears its ugly head, in this case, the assumption that men will be unable to control themselves upon seeing an uncovered woman.

Salim continued, “Our perspectives on liberation and free from oppression are so influenced by the West! However so, it is also not right for guys to jump around to prove to the whole world that they are happy! What type of Khilafah are we trying to build here? You mean you can still give your utmost respect to your Ustaz/Ustazah [Islamic scholar] if you see him/her dancing and jumping around in that video?” Uhh, how does dancing to a popular song diminish a person’s credibility? It’s harmless! Intent on telling the world how mentally warped she is, Salim then explained what she would do if one of her future offspring were to be instructed by someone guilty of dancing: “If my future son gonna show me that kind of video with his teacher in it, I will not think a second to get him out from that class. Or… I will not hesitate to be a typical Singaporean mum and complain to the school about that particular teacher.”

So she’d rather have her child indoctr- err, educated by humorless regressives than more lively teachers. I feel really bad for the children she’s going to have.

Salim also had some thoughts on dating with regard to women’s liberation. “You can be a Queen Bee, but if all the guys have a taste of you, what will you be left to save your dignity?” she asked, not realizing that a woman’s choice to be sexually active has no impact on her dignity. “How are you going to face your future husband?” Uhh, if a dude doesn’t want you because you enjoyed yourself, chances are he’s an austere control-freak and should promptly be dumped.

“Make Rasulullah SAW [Muhammad, pigs be upon him] your only ‘boyfriend.'” Necrophilia much? “He will teach you everything that you need to live in this life and please keep yearning to meet him in heaven. When you see all your friends succumbing their lives to trends, feel liberated because you’re free from this evil system of life.” What can Muhammad teach? How to behead the infidel? How to preach hatred against Jews and gays? How to molest children? As for secular life being an “evil system,” I’ll juxtapose it against Islam. We grant LGBT couples equal rights. Muslims throw them off of buildings.

Salim also shared her thoughts on how women should base their professional lives around their religion.

“Of [course] it is not wrong for women to pursue their career, but if it is at the expense of her first responsibility – her household – then she should recheck her actions,” Salim said, spitting in the face of everyone who fought and sacrificed for women to be free from the expectation of being a homemaker. Of course, she cited a Hadith, which states that “A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them.” Tell me again, liberals, how Islam isn’t sexist?

Salim believes there are numerous consequences to losing one’s virginity outside of marriage, including “turning into a gay/lesbian.” She cites friends who previously dated men now dating women as proof of this, not acknowledging the possibility they were bisexual all along. She claims loss of virginity leads to women focusing on their careers instead of trying to start families, which can cause them to fall into sin. “A lady travelling alone without her mahram may fall under the hukum of haram,” she wrote. So? That’s her choice! Women shouldn’t be shamed or made to feel guilty for valuing their autonomy.

One of the methods Salim suggests to be the “best Muslimah” is to “give up freedom.” As if Islam affords women many freedoms to give up in the first place. “When you give up the freedom of this life, you’ll taste an even higher level of freedom; and that’s the freedom from our nafs (desire),” she wrote. Here’s the thing: many desires are biological, as Salim is well aware. Suppressing them leads to unhappiness, not greater freedom.

This next part is one of the most screwed up things to ever appear on Your Daily Muslim. I’m going to put a red bar around the content some folks may not want to read.

redline

Salim is a rape apologist. That is to say, she blames women for being raped if they aren’t strictly-practicing Muslimahs. Instead of laying all the blame on, oh I don’t know, the man who commits an act of violence, Salim blames the following groups: women who enter into relationships before marriage, women who aren’t completely covered, and women who are friendly toward men. If being friendly toward a man causes your religion to even partially blame you for being raped, that is not a religion that should be tolerated. (This piece on her site is the source of these screenshots.)

nurashikin8

If you thought it wasn’t going to get worse, you were mistaken.

nurashikin9

Yep, she really said that men should only be jailed for rape if the woman didn’t somehow invite it. Newsflash: it’s a traumatic sexual assault. No one is asking for it. It’s truly sad that Salim’s friend K, who was raped by her boyfriend, blames herself because she dated him. She is not at fault for his actions, regardless of what their religion says about the nature of their relationship.

nurashikin10

When a commenter criticized Salim’s rape apologism, she cited the Qur’an verse she referenced earlier as justification for her horrible views:

nurashikin11

No. No. It doesn’t matter if the woman agreed to go with him to a park at night. It doesn’t matter if their relationship was “haram.” Rape is never the victim’s fault.

redline

I was going to write more, but I think that’s enough for now. The Nurashikin Salim saga will continue next week.

Leave a comment

Your Daily Muslim #681: Hamza Ali Abbasi

Hamza Ali Abbasi preparing to appear in a #gayporn4muhammad meme

Hamza Ali Abbasi preparing to appear in a #gayporn4muhammad meme

The US Supreme Court recently made history by legalizing gay marriage nationwide. Of course, Muslims around the world wanted to get their totally-tolerant 2 cents in. One such Muslim is Pakistani actor and pro-Palestine activist Hamza Ali Abbasi.

hamza2

How is homosexuality taboo in animals?! It’s observed in hundreds of animal species. Also, most animals lack the capacity to understand “taboo.”

No one is trying to “justify” homosexuality. It’s already justified, natural, and valid. Saying someone’s homosexuality needs to be justified is the same as saying their Asian race needs to be justified.

Abbasi then committed the fallacy of relative privation, or Appeal to Bigger Problems fallacy, when he said Pakistan had other issues to worry about. What he fails to understand is that a) homosexuality is natural and normal, and b) gay rights are a big issue in Pakistan, where homosexual activity is often harshly punished. However, the nation is among the foremost in the world in gay porn searches.

He then proved his mind equally stunted, if not more so, than those of the oft-caricatured idiots who think legalizing gay marriage will lead to legalizing pedophilia and incest. With as much incest as there is in Pakistan (mainly 1st-cousin arranged marriages), Abbasi’s likely intentional ignorance of the subject is laughable.

hamza3

If you haven’t had your fill of head-shaking yet, keep reading.

This was posted along with an image of a crossed-out rainbow after his initial post was criticized.

This was posted along with an image of a crossed-out rainbow after his initial post was criticized.

“But if you remotely believe in a God and a religion and specially Islam, YOU CAN NOT EVER SUPPORT SUCH A THING.” Yep, Islam is totally tolerant and compatible with the west.

Leave a comment

Your Daily Muslim #680: Ubah Ali

Ubah Ali

Ubah Ali

St. Paul Somali Muslimah Ubah Ali and many of her fellow seventh-century celebrants are the latest group of regressives to push sharia compliance on America’s swimming pools. The raucous horde of Muslimahs got in touch with the St. Paul police department and the local YMCA. Together, they began an early-morning swimming instruction program so they could swim without being seen by the opposite sex. Because Islam totally isn’t into segregation.

“We have to have privacy,” Ali said. Her daughter, 12, goes to the lessons. Why do you need privacy? Going to swimming pools is one of the most all-American, innocent pastimes there is. Everyone has a great time. However, Islam isn’t too keen on the idea of fun if it involves even the slightest chance of contact with the opposite sex. For a devout Muslimah like Ali, such a risk was unacceptable.

Want to know what’s actually unacceptable? Refusing to integrate into Western culture and demanding things be gender-segregated.

2 Comments

Your Daily Muslim #679: Illiza Saaduddin Djamal

Illiza Saaduddin Djamal

Illiza Saaduddin Djamal

Ramadan is in full swing. During this time of year, Muslims add to their collective irritability by depriving themselves of basic nutrition for most of the day. In Jakarta, selling food between dawn and 4pm during Ramadan is prohibited because it would encourage people to make proper health decisions instead of letting an ancient fairytale control them. To mayor Illiza Saaduddin Djamal, a devout Muslimah, allowing people to eat is unacceptable.

“Any violation of the law will be punished with the utmost vigor,” Djamal stated in a press release. What is the punishment for selling food during Ramadan? Public flogging. I never would’ve taken Islam for the type of religion to look for excuses to injure people…

Another recent legal blunder of Djamal’s is the curfew she instated at the beginning of the month. Unless accompanied by a mahram (e.g. husband, male family member), establishments in Jakarta are prohibited from serving women after 11pm. She claims this is to cut down on sex crimes against women, but I can’t help but think she’s envious other women get to enjoy their lives more than her oppressive religion allows her to. “We have studied the matter thoroughly and this is in line with the labor laws,” she said. “Our aim is to protect women employees, especially those working at entertainment spots.” Yes, just like how forcing women to wear ridiculous ninja costumes “protects” them. It isn’t protection. It’s marginalization and oppression.

Djamal’s craziest act, however, comes from her term as deputy mayor. She led the crusade against Jakarta’s punk community, organizing police raids on concerts and parks. Concert-goers were arrested, the men’s heads shaved to remove punk hairstyles (which are somehow offensive against Islam), and sent to a 10-day re-education camp. “The presence of the punk community is disturbing, and disrupts the life of the Banda Aceh public,” Djamal said. No. What’s disturbing is a religion that forces everyone to conform to its rigid standard of “morality” and conduct.

She continued, “This is a new social disease affecting Banda Aceh. If it is allowed to continue, the government will have to spend more money to handle them.” Uhh, actually, you won’t have to spend money if you just LEAVE THEM ALONE. But of course, such a simple principle is beyond the reach of the totalitarian Islamic mind. When a bank manager tried to get out of having to go through the re-education camp due to concerns about keeping his job, Djamal responded: “He’s part of the punk community and whoever was caught has to go through our reeducation so they wake up.” Djamal is the one who should wake up. Newsflash: Allah isn’t real.

One of the reasons Djamal cited for the arrests was the alleged presence of drugs and alcohol at the concerts. Again, this isn’t a problem if you just leave people alone when they aren’t harming anybody. A bunch of happy concert-goers having a few beers or sharing a joint is not a public safety concern.

Djamal’s other motivation was, of course, her religion. “Their morals are wrong,” she said, not realizing she needs to look inward before criticizing others’ morality. “Men and women gather together, and that is against Islamic sharia.” Well, Islamic sharia is against the 21st century, so I think I know which one should win out. To a 7th-century savage like Djamal, however, such a thought is too much to bear.

The backward Muslimah concluded, “We will keep conducting raids until they’re all caught, then we’ll bring them for reeducation here. Aceh [province] is a shariah region. Everyone should obey it and the punk community is clearly against sharia. This training will be an example in Indonesia of the re-education of the punks.” It’s not the punks who need reeducation – it’s the Muslims.

Leave a comment

Your Daily Muslim #678: Ismahan Isse

Ismahan Isse

Ismahan Isse

Ohio Somali Muslimah Ismahan Isse wanted to become a police officer. There was one problem with that: police officers are required to wear uniforms instead of ninja costumes.

Isse realized she would be unable to continue with a law enforcement career if she wore the hijab on duty. She chose to be uncovered during law enforcement training. Instead of transitioning into 21st century police attire, Isse unfortunately allowed her Ohio career dream to become the latest casualty of the religion of peace.

Upon hearing of this terrible injustice, the litigation jihadists at Hamas-linked CAIR sprung into action. They asked for the police dress code to change to be more inclusive of various religious groups. Here’s the thing: it’s a uniform. Everyone has to wear it. Do you think anyone wants to not have any say in terms of their professional attire? No. However, maintaining a dress code definitely helps maintain professionalism in the workplace. Demanding an unbiased standard be changed to accommodate your pseudoscientific beliefs is selfish.

Leave a comment

Your Daily Muslim #677: Zohra Dawood

Zohra Dawood

Zohra Dawood

Bradfordabad, UK. Three sister Muslimahs with between two and 5 children each concocted a sinister plan. They received benefits from the UK government due to their motherhood, and decided they would pool that money together for their children’s future… with the Islamic State (ISIS) terror group.

One of the sisters, Zohra Dawood, claimed she “didn’t like the UK” despite the fact that it’s infinitely better than shitholes like Syria. Why? It’s becoming “too much like America.” Well, with one key difference: America doesn’t have a problem controlling its mujahid problem.

The sisters then talked their male cousin into joining the Islamic State terror group with them, and together with all their children, they fled to Syria. This is one of the biggest parenting fails of all time – instead of protecting their children, the sisters took them into the middle of a warzone.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 258 other followers