Tag Archive | muslim

Your Daily Muslim: Abd al-Jalil al-Karouri

Your Daily Muslim: Abd al-Jalil al-Karouri

“Why shouldn’t we call [Barack Obama] by the name [Hussein], which belongs to us? …It wouldn’t be a mistake for our media to call him President Hussein.” Sudanese Islamic cleric Abd al-Jalil al-Karouri is the latest in a long line of nutty Islamic conspiracy theorists. In a recent sermon, he is quoted as saying that […]

Your Daily Muslim: Muhammad Abdul-Malik al-Zoghbi

Your Daily Muslim: Muhammad Abdul-Malik al-Zoghbi

Some people have no idea how dirty what they’re saying actually is. Egyptian Sunni Islamic cleric Muhammad Abdul-Malik al-Zoghbi is one of those people. In a televised speech, he unintentionally discussed the early practice of gay BDSM by an ancient Pharaoh as part of a tirade against Jews. “[Pharaoh] would ride a Jew as one […]

Your Daily Muslim: Kabiru Sokoto

Your Daily Muslim: Kabiru Sokoto

Nigerian Muslim Kabiru Sokoto is a midget whose face looks like it received plastic surgery at the hands of a trash compactor. Fraught with self-doubt and low self-esteem due to his hideous visage, he felt an increasing need to prove himself to society and large and to his invisible best friend, a psychopath named Allah. […]

Your Daily Muslim: Hassan Abujihaad

Your Daily Muslim: Hassan Abujihaad

Anyone who converts to Islam and chooses to put ‘jihad’ in their name, however misspelled, is obviously up to no good. US Navy sailor Paul Hall had grown tired of getting confused with second-rate rapper Paul Wall, so he changed his name to Hassan Abujihaad upon his conversion to Islam. Unlike many Muslim converts who […]

Your Daily Muslim: Abdelkader Eljanabi

Your Daily Muslim: Abdelkader Eljanabi

55-year-old UK Muslim Abdelkader Eljanabi just couldn’t resist. Despite everything he had been taught about resisting temptation, the allure of the creature’s tender flesh was too strong for him. He couldn’t help but indulge himself, despite the fact that he was in the bathroom of a shopping center and the tempting creature was a 14-year-old […]

Your Daily Muslim: Samira Ahmed Jassim al-Azzawi

Your Daily Muslim: Samira Ahmed Jassim al-Azzawi

Samira Ahmed Jassim al-Azzawi was well past her first midlife crisis, and after going through menopause, decided it was time to have another. The Iraqi Muslim, dressed in the traditional Islamic ninja costume, made it her mission to recruit other women to her newfound cause: jihad. She crafted a new image for herself (without Botox), […]

Your Daily Muslim: Salma Kabal

Your Daily Muslim: Salma Kabal

Pregnant UK Muslim Salma Kabal is the definition of clingy. Despite the fact that her husband Ashik Ali had left her to prepare to wage jihad, she continually begged him to return to help raise the child she’s carrying. It is unknown what the offspring of a human and a Nazgul like Kabal would look […]

Your Daily Muslim: Wayne Whallid Parnell

Your Daily Muslim: Wayne Whallid Parnell

South African professional cricket player Wayne (conversion name Whallid) Parnell isn’t exactly the kind of person I normally feature on here – for one, his hair isn’t gray and/or falling out, for two, he’s a public figure who isn’t involved in politics or clergy. Why is he on here then? He’s a prime example of […]

Your Daily Muslim: Tamerlan Tsarnaev (DAILY DOUBLE)

Your Daily Muslim: Tamerlan Tsarnaev (DAILY DOUBLE)

As if the media hadn’t already been covering these Muslims enough, here’s another story about them. Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev are brothers originally from predominantly-Islamic Chechnya in southern Russia. They came to the US five years ago and, much to liberals’ dismay, showed how completely unwilling Muslims are to integrate into western society. In the […]

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